Naruchanted
by InoIceQueen
Summary: Ino Yamanaka lives in Andalasia, a world where troll-hunting is a major sport and animals talk. Her goal in life is to find her true love and finally get her True Love's Kiss. But what will happen when her fairy tale life gets a taste of reality?
1. A Maiden Fair and Sweet

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Enchanted or Naruto, they belong to their respective owners.**

Now that that's out of the way, here's a quick description. I was bored (go figure), and watched Enchanted, then felt compelled to write a Naruto fan fiction based on it. If you want the cast members to be a surprise, scroll down to the story. If you want to know who's who before you read or simply don't care, keep reading this.

Giselle: Ino Yamanka

Prince Edward: Sasuke Uchiha

Queen Narissa: Orochimaru (I couldn't resist! _)

Nathaniel: Kabuto (Same reason as above. ^^;)

Pip: Chouji (As a chipmunk. Do I need to explain why? Read the above two.)

That's all I'll tell you for now, for each chapter that a new character is introduced, I'll post a little something at the start for those who want to know.

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~*~

_~"Once upon a time, in a magical kingdom known as Andalasia, there lived an evil queen. Selfish and cruel, she lived in fear that one day her stepson would marry and she would lose her throne forever. And so, she did all in her power to prevent the prince from ever meeting the one special maiden with whom he would share true love's kiss."~_

_~\*/~_

"Ino! Ino-chan, how about this? Would this work for your statue?"

A few birds swooped around a young woman, fluttering excitedly as they chirped to her.

"Oh, those would look perfect!" The young woman said, straightening up with a smile.

She had long, blonde hair, the color of sunshine. It was tied up in a high ponytail, but her side swept bangs fell onto the right side of her face. Her eyes were a clear, bright blue, like the sky on a clear day. She wore a purple gown that was easy to move in, and had bare feet.

The birds chirped a cheery, "You're welcome!" before being shooed off by an irritable looking chipmunk.

"C'mon, c'mon! Get moving, we've gotta make this while it's still engrained in her sub cranium!" He insisted, waving his small paws around for emphasis.

"Oh Chouji, it was such a lovely dream…" Ino sighed, arranging something on the statue as she spoke, then twirling around the room dreamily once she had finished. "We were holding hands, and dancing, and-"

"What about these for the eyes, Ino-chan?"

Ino was stopped by a rabbit bouncing into her path, and she took two shimmering onyx stones from him.

"Black? How'd you know!" She exclaimed, looking giddy. "And they sparkle… just like… his!" She sighed, holding them up to light. "And… here we go." She attached them to the statue, looking serious. "Oh!" She gasped, her brilliant blue eyes widening as she stepped back to admire her work. "That's it!"

The various animals scurrying around the room helping stopped and gathered in the center, watching her expectantly. "Presenting…" Ino giggled, twirling the statue to face them. "My one true love… my prince!"

The statue was of a young man with onyx eyes and black-blue hair. Since it was made from scratch, everything on it was things Ino and her friends had scoured up, like scraps of cloth and flowers.

"My dream comes true!" She announced as all the animals oohed and ahhed.

"Oh my goodness!" Ino suddenly gasped, staring at the statue in horror.

"Whoa, whoa, what? What's the problem?" Chouji demanded.

"I didn't give him any lips." She sighed, chewing her lip.

"Does he have to have lips?" A fawn asked curiously.

"Of course!" Ino spun around to look at the deer. "When you meet the someone who was meant for you…"

_I've been dreaming of a true love's kiss  
And a prince I'm hoping comes with this  
That's what brings everaftering so happy  
And that's the reason we need lips so much  
Four lips are the only things that touch  
So to spend a life of endless bliss  
Just find who you love through true love's kiss  
_

_aaaaa aaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaa_

_aaaaa aaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaa_

She's been dreaming of a true love's kiss  
And a prince she's hoping comes with this  
That's what brings everaftering so happy  
And that's the reason we need lips so much  
Four lips are the only things that touch

_So to spend a life of endless bliss  
Just find who you love through true love's kiss_

_-_

~In the meantime…~

-

"Ha! Look out below!" A handsome prince rode through the forest on a troll wrapped in rope, felling him with ease. The prince stood upon the fallen troll's back, looking pleased with himself.

"Oh my, sire! Your tenth troll this month!" Squealed a man dressed in the uniform of the queen's court, attempting to climb up the troll's face.

The man had silver hair tied in a ponytail, dark eyes, and round glasses. As the man continued his climb, his hand became lodged in the troll's nostril.

"How I love hunting trolls…. URGH!" He shuddered and shook off the slimy green substance that was now on his hands. "Big trolls, little trolls, trolls, trolls, trolls!" He said, scampering back up the troll's face, only to trip.

This time, his whole arm was thrust up the troll's nose.

"Ah… sorry…" He said to the troll, looking at his hand in resigned disgust.

"Ohh… That's okay." The troll sighed, looking rather bored. After all, he couldn't do anything about it anyways. He was trussed up like a turkey.

"Trolls are fine to pass the time, Kabuto," The prince said, pulling his companion up to sit beside him. "… But _my_ heart longs to be joined in song!" He said, standing up suddenly. "And… do you hear that?" He looked around excitedly.

From a distance a sweet, clear female voice rang out in song.

"What? Me? Why, no. I hear nothing. Nothing at all, Your Highness!" Kabuto said heartily, looking around frantically for some way to distract the prince.

As Kabuto sputtered in protest, the prince suddenly cried out, "I _must _find the maiden that belongs to that sweet voice!"

"No! Come back, sire! No, you're-" Kabuto came to his senses and leapt off the troll. The prince had already mounted his black stallion, however, and was preparing to leave.

"Ride, Destiny!" He cried out, pointing off in the direction of the voice. "No, no, nooooo…. oh, poo." Kabuto said, sitting down dejectedly in front of the troll.

"Oh no, no, this isn't good." He fretted. "All these years of troll chasing and trying to keep him from ever meeting a girl…"

He paused in his ranting to pull out a locket, in which was a picture of an extremely pale dark-haired woman with gold eyes, and a snake-like face.

"The queen… oh, the queen…" He moaned. "No, she's NOT going to like this…" "TRUUUUUE LOOOVE'S KIIIIISSSSS…." Warbled the troll, smiling at his 'music'.

Kabuto suddenly looked up and closed the locket. He smirked and pushed his glasses up.

"Heheheh…"


	2. Happily Ever After?

**Hello, and welcome to… *insert dramatic drumroll here* Naruchanted, chapter two! ^_^ First off, I'd like to give a special thank you to shelvesinthecloset, who gave me a very nice review. So, thank you! *bows* And read her stories while you're at it, they're quite good. =)**

**And here's a quick recap in case you've forgotten: Ino, along with her animal friends, are currently constructing a statue of her dream prince. Then, they realize, he doesn't have lips! Therefore, Ino must burst into song explaining True Love's Kiss (which is the most powerful thing in the world, in case you didn't know).**

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The prince, atop his horse, dashed over a river and through the woods in search of the singing maiden. As he rode, he suddenly sat up straighter and looked around in alarm.

"TRUUUE LOOOOVE'S KIIIIIIISSS…" Came a sudden loud, baritone warbling from overhead. As the prince looked up in shock, the troll he had just captured waddled over him, also in pursuit of the maiden.

"Ha! You shall NOT prevail, foul troll!" The prince cried, thrusting his fist into the air. "That maiden is MINE!"

~In the meantime (again)~

Ino sat on her window seat, gazing out at the beautiful landscape before her.

"Do you really think this 'dream boy' of yours exists, Ino-chan?" Chouji said suddenly, scurrying up into her lap.

"Oh Chouji…" Ino sighed, smiling.

_Uh-oh… I know that look… _The chipmunk thought in exasperation.

"I just _know_ he's out there somewhere!" She finished, smiling dreamily. "Eye… eye… eye…" All the animals began squeaking, staring out the window behind Ino in horror.

Ino tilted her head to the side slightly, looking confused. "I, I, I what?" She asked, laughing. Behind her, a huge pair of brown eyes appeared in the window.

"_I_ EAT YOU NOW." Came the unexpected response from behind her. She jumped, and turned towards the window slowly.

Ino screamed and dived out of the way as a huge green hand shot into the house, breaking the window. As she fell, she landed in the lap of her statue, and threw her arms around its neck as if it would protect her.

"Oh…" She wailed, clinging to the statue for dear life as another hand came down beside her, this time threw the roof.

"GOTCHA!" The troll called out happily, both hands finally scooping up his prize.

"HUH?" He stared ahead of him, blinking stupidly as a blonde girl scampered out of another window and up a tree branch. She saw him looking, and shrieked, climbing further up the tree. The troll pulled his catch out of the house, only to see it was Ino's prized statue.

"HEY…" He growled, crushing the statue in his hand. "THAT'S CHEATING!" He roared, stepping onto the house as he went after the girl.

Ino whimpered as her house and statue were reduced to rubble, but kept climbing.

"I SUPPOSED TO EAT YOU." The troll insisted, beginning to catch up to her.

"Oh!" Ino stared in surprise.

_Since when do trolls climb trees?! _She thought in terror, laying flat on the branch and crawling to the edge.

"Oh no, ya don't! Ya big LUG!" Yelped Chouji, leaping onto the confused troll's head.

The troll and Ino were both on a single branch that had managed to hold them, but with the added weight of a certain plump chipmunk, the branch began to lean towards the ground. As the tree creaked and groaned, Chouji spoke up.

"Wow. I gotta lay off them nuts!" He lamented, patting his stomach.

"GUH… YUMMY." The troll growled, seeing Ino and remembering why he was up there in the first place. He reached towards her, causing the branch to sway.

"Fear not, fair maiden! I am here!" Called a voice from below.

Ino squinted, looking down. Mounted on a handsome black stallion was an equally handsome prince. Even from the height she was at, she could see he had black hair that reflected blue, and proud features.

"Heh…" Ino was at a loss for words. She smiled vaguely, pushing her hair behind her ear then waving at him.

_Well, this is an awkward way to meet._ She thought.

"Oh!" She cried, slipping further down the branch.

"Ha! Gotcha!" Chouji scampered down the branch, grabbing hold of Ino's big toe.

"Whoa…" His eyes widened as he too began to slide down.

The branch curved, and Ino and Chouji were nearly upside down. Ino screamed, and fell off the branch. As she fell, she made a wild grab and managed to grab hold of another branch.

The troll however was not as fortunate.

"Uh-oh." He whimpered in a small voice, as the branch snapped back like a slingshot, catapulting him to who-knows-where.

"Um… Chouji-kun…" Ino said, still holding desperately onto a branch with one hand.

Her hand began slipping, and Chouji rushed over.

"Hang on! I'm coming!" Chouji, who had still been holding onto Ino's toe, scurried up her and onto the branch.

Once again however, the plump chimpmunk proved too much for the tree. As the branch jerked, Ino fell to the ground screaming.

After falling through several branches, she landed in the prince's lap.

"Ohmigosh… it's _you_." She said, throwing her arms around his neck and looking at him with adoration.

He was exactly as she had imagined. Handsome face, black-blue hair, onyx eyes, fair skin. Just like her dream.

"Huh… yes, it's me." The prince said, bewildered but pleased all the same. "And you are?"

"Ino…" She said, looking at him dreamily.

"Ooohhh… INO!" He cried suddenly, punching his fist into the air before pulling her close to him. "We shall be married in the morning!" He declared, looking at her ecstatically.

_~You're the fairest maid I've ever met  
You were made...  
...to finish your duet  
And in years to come we'll reminisce  
How we came to love_

_And grow and grow love  
Since first we knew love through true love's kiss~_

And then, the happy couple rode off blissfully into the sunset, Ino's animal friends running along in their wake.

~Not everyone was happy, however…~

A tall, pale woman stood before a glowing orb, surveying the blissful scene angrily. Her gold eyes flashed, and her snake-like face contorted with rage. She sighed, and took a deep breath, closing her eyes. When she opened them, she smiled.

"Ah… So. _This _is the little forest rat who thinks she can take away _my_ throne?" She smiled sweetly, a complete contrast to the icy, dark dungeon of despair she was in.

Just as quickly as she had calmed herself, she became enraged once more.

"NEVER!!!" She howled, as brilliant flames swirled around her, engulfing the cavern.


	3. New York, New York

**Welcome to chapter three! Thanks once again to every keeping up with the story, and to shelvesinthecloset for another great review and some good advice. I meant to put this in the first chapter, but forgot, so I'll put it here: I apologize for the characters being OOC. I'm going to try and make them as close as they can be to how they normally are while sticking with the Enchanted storyline. As fun as it is making Sasuke happy and dancey, I'll try and toughen him up a little. We'll be meeting, if I've counted correctly, four new characters the next chapter chapter.**

**RECAP: In our previous chapters, Ino is rescued from a troll by none other than her handsome dream prince. Kabuto fears (with good reason) that the queen will be most displeased with this…**

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~The Next Morning, At the Royal Family's Castle~

The castle was in a frenzy, with various servants cooking and cleaning in preparation for the grand wedding about to take place. A white, horse-drawn carriage pulled up to the castle, coming to a stop just in front of the steps. Kabuto rushed down the steps to the carriage, and reached for the door handle. Just as he was about to open the door, it was thrown open and hit his nose.

"Oh!" A wide-eyed young maiden stepped out, looking at Kabuto's now bleeding nose with alarm. "I'm soooo sorry!" She said, adjusting her billowing white skirts. "Am I late?" She asked, looking at the manservant worriedly.

"Just in time." Kabuto said, through gritted teeth, holding his nose.

"Oh good!" She sighed and dashed up the steps, her hair nearly coming out of place as she ran.

"Hey, wait up! We aren't done with you yet, Ino!" Chouji called, scurrying out of the carriage after the bride.

Kabuto raised an eyebrow at the unusual guest, but shrugged it off. As he made to shut the door, it was thrown open once more, flinging him to the ground. He watched in terror as a whole parade of animals charged out of the carriage, each carrying some sort of trimming to add to the bride.

As Ino ran up the steps, a pair of rabbits added a shimmering white bow around her waist. Birds fluttered around her head, putting her long blonde hair into an elegant updo and topping it with a tiara. Various other animals adjusted her huge white gown, adding ribbons and such.

"Thanks!" Ino called, waving to them as she ran into the castle.

Kabuto finally managed to stagger to his feet, and darted after Ino. As soon as the animals reached the door, he leaped ahead of them and slammed it shut, laughing as he did so. Chouji hit the door and rebounded off of it, rolling a few feet away into a nearby rabbit. He jumped to his hind paws and bared his teeth.

"And what do we look like, garbage?" He demanded, jumping up and down furiously. "You don't close the door on me!"

"And to think, in just a few moments, Sasuke and I-!" Ino gushed, running through a courtyard with Kabuto on her heels. "I mean, he and me-!" She spun around to face him, giggling. "Oh, that _we_!" She squealed, turning around once again and walking as Kabuto rushed to keep up.

_Who knew a woman wearing a circus tent and heels could move so fast?_ He thought, jogging after the excited bride.

"EH!" Kabuto leaped back in alarm, as did Ino.

Before them stood a snaggle-toothed old crone, wearing a tattered black cloak. Ino backed away as well, looking nervous.

"Oh… what a _lovely_ bride!" The crone crooned, stepping closer to Ino.

"Well, that's very nice, but I really oughta be going now…" Ino said, smiling brightly, and attempting to sidestep the old woman.

"Oh no, Granny has a wedding gift for you child!" The hag said sweetly, blocking Ino's path.

"Thanks, but…" Ino quickly stepped around the woman, flashing her a megawatt smile before jogging off. "I really should be going!" She called over her shoulder, waving.

"But, but…" The crone leapt after her with surprising agility and grabbed her hand, pulling her to a wall with shocking strength.

"I'm going to…" Ino protested, trying to pull away.

"…The wishing well!" The crone finished.

The two now stood before a magnificent waterfall, the fell down into what seemed to be a never-ending pit.

"But, but…all my wishes are about to come true!" Ino whined, pulling against the woman's grip furiously as Kabuto watched from the shadows.

"If I ever see that fatso's face again, I'm gonna…" Chouji growled, sitting up top a castle wall.

He paused when he heard a familiar voice, and turned to see Ino being pulled to a waterfall and well by an old hag.

"A wish on your wedding day! That's the most magical of all…" The old woman insisted, gesturing towards the water imperiously. "Just close your eyes, my dear. Then make your wish." The crone whispered, helping Ino to lean over the pit beneath the waterfall.

"Lean in close… are you wishing for something?" The woman asked, resting a gentle hand on Ino's back as she leaned in.

Ino smiled, taking in the beauty of the fountain, and thinking of her prince.

"Yes… yes I am." She whispered, clasping her hands in front of her. "And they both lived happily ever aftAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!"

Ino was pushed headfirst into the pit, screaming as she went.

"Sasuke! Prince Sasuke, we need you!" Chouji cried, running around frantically as he attempted to find the prince.

The crone raised her hands to the sky, and cried, "Amylases pormulta precarious!"

As she spoke, flames surrounded her. She suddenly became slim and tall. Her skin was sheet white, and her long black hair made her look even paler. Gold eyes flashed menacingly in a snake-like as Kabuto ran to her side.

"My most adored queen…" Kabuto began, staring into the endless darkness of the well. "Where did you send her?"

"To a place where there are _no_ 'happily ever afters'." The queen responded, her mouth twisting into a cruel smile.

~Back With Our Heroine…~

Ino wailed and screamed as she fell for what seemed like ages. She fell through something turquoise, that felt and looked like water. She could even see the bubbles around her. But she could breathe just as easily as ever.

"Oh… Oh…" Ino whimpered, looking around her. "Ow!" She yelped suddenly, as a shimmering blue blob attached itself to her collarbone. "What the… what's this?"

She touched it tentatively, as more shining blobs attached themselves to her.

"No… no! Get off!" She shrieked as they came faster, quickly covering her entire body.

Ino hovered like that for a few moments, before rocketing around in a spiral pattern, screaming her head off all the while. She finally came to a stop, slamming into something hard, cold, and wet.

"Ugh… she moaned. She shook her head, and sat up. Something wasn't right, but she couldn't put her finger on it.

"Hmmm?" she blinked, and noticed rays of light were coming from what she'd slammed into before.

She hesitated for a moment, then leaned in closer. The light was coming from small holes, just big enough to look through. She eyed them nervously, but pressed her eye to one. The thing shifted, and Ino pressed her hands on it.

"A way out?" She whispered, pushing it up and coming out of the hole it left.

"What the?" People walking by stared at the manhole cover as it moved.

After living in New York for a while, you might think you've seen it all. But nothing could've prepared the New Yorkers for this. A beautiful young woman with long blonde hair piled atop her head rose out of the sewers, her sky-blue eyes wide with wonder. She had a shimmering tiara on her head, and was wearing a beautiful white wedding gown, complete with matching gloves and shoes. She looked just like a fairy tale princess on her wedding day.

Ino stared around her in shock. She'd never seen so many people before, and they were wearing such strange clothes! And the buildings, if that's what they were, were so big! And bright, too. It hurt her eyes to look at the neon colors swirling around. It was night, but something was wrong. It was far too bright for night, and there were only a few stars in the sky. People stared at her as she attempted to pull the rest of her body from the sewer. After much struggle, she managed to do so. Unfortunately, her skirts flipped over her head and ripped as she climbed out.

"Oh!" Ino shrieked and fell forward onto the cold cement.

She then straightened up, brushed herself off, and tried to look dignified.

"Oh… what now…" She groaned, hearing a load beeping sound.

Ino let out a piercing scream as a metal monster with glowing eyes glided towards her. She ran out of the way just in time.

"What the… more?" She wailed, running as two more came at her.

This time, Ino managed to merge into a crowd of people, though knocking down a sale stable in the process.

"Are you crazy, lady? You're gonna pay for this!" An angry man barked at her as she stumbled away into the crowd.

"Um, excuse me… I was wondering if one of you _kind_ people might direct me to the castle?" Ino asked as she was shoved down the street by people walking.

"OH!" Ino screamed as a little man came out of her skirts.

"Hey, watch it, will you?" He snapped, straightening his tie.

"Oh… Grumpy!" She squealed.

"Geez lady… are you for real?" He asked, suddenly noticing Ino's fairy tale get up.

Without waiting for a response, he melted into the crowd.

"Well, I think so… wait! Where are you going?" Ino called after him desperately.

"C-could someone PLEASE point me to the castle?" Ino pleaded as she was shoved down a set of stairs leading to the subway. "I've got to go to the ball, to wed my true love, Prince Sasuke-!" She explained on her way down. "Oohh!! Sasuke! Saaasukkke!!!" She wailed as she was shoved underground. "Sassuuukke!"

Sometime later, Ino managed to find another set of stairs leading aboveground, and emerged looking disheveled.

"Sasuke?" She whimpered. "Oh no…" She wandered around like that for a few hours, until coming upon an old man in an alley. "Oh! Hey! Old man!" She called, running up to him.

The man was grimy, and wearing tattered clothes, but she didn't care anymore.

"Can I sit with you?" She asked, her big eyes pleading.

The man stared at her for a moment, than nodded.

"Oh!" Ino sighed and plopped down beside him, her huge dress rustling. "I'm really tired, and really scared." Ino began, talking in a low voice. "I've _never_ been this far away from home before. And I've got no clue where I am." She looked down at her lap, where her hands lay clasped together. "If someone could just do _something _nice, a friendly hello, or even a smile!" She looked back up at the old man hopefully.

The old man complied, giving the startled girl a toothless grin.

"Oh. You've, um… gotta lovely smile there." She said in a small voice, managing a tiny smile back.

The old man suddenly burst into laughter, grabbing the tiara from her hair and running off.

"Hey! Where do you think you're going?" Ino demanded, stumbling to her feet. "That's MINE!" She called, trying to catch up. "Bring it back! I need that!" She wailed, tripping over her feet but managing to stay upright. "You…" Ino said, trying to think of something to say. "Are not a very nice old man!" She snapped, looking close to tears.

Just as things couldn't get any worse, lightning flashed and it began to rain.

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**That's all for now, folks! I might not update for the next couple of days, because I'm going out of town to see some relatives. I'll try to bring my flashdrive with and update there, but I'm not sure if it's compatible with their programs. So if you don't see new chapters, don't worry. I'm still working on it! Remember to have a Happy Thanksgiving! =)**


	4. The Real Deal

**Finally, chapter four! I'm very sorry about not updating sooner, as I said in chapter three, I was out of town for the holiday. I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving, and aren't in too much of a food coma. ^^ Thank you again to shelvesinthecloset for another great review and even better advice. This chapter, we'll be meeting some more characters, so if you'd like them to be a surprise please scroll down to the story. Otherwise, keep reading this memo and satisfy your curiosity.**

_**Robert Philip: Shikamaru Nara**_

_**Phoebe: Sakura Haruno**_

_**Ethan: Naruto Uzumaki**_

_**Morgan Philip: Keiko Nara (Shika-kun's daughter, an OC I made up for this story)**_

_**Nancy Tremaine: Temari no Sabako (You won't actually see her in this chapter, but she's mentioned)**_

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~In Another Gloomy Setting, Not Quite As Bad…~

"Uh, yeah. You're NOT getting him, Naruto!" Snapped a pretty woman with short pink hair, glaring at the blonde man sitting across from her.

"You only want him because I do!" Whined the man, narrowing his blue eyes in fury.

"Well, I'm not letting you have him, CHA!" The pink-haired woman snarled, crossing her arms.

"Forget it, Sakura. Yondaime is coming with me!" The blonde man retorted, punctuating his words by jabbing a finger at the woman opposite him.

"Wait, wait a minute I'm confused…" sighed a man sitting between them.

He had dark brown hair tied up in a ponytail. He had hazel eyes, a handsome face, and a serious expression. He was a divorce lawyer, and a thoroughly tired one at that.

"Who's Yondaime? Your kid? I thought you two didn't have kids." Said another man, sitting by Naruto.

This man had silver hair, but appeared fairly young, possibly late twenties or early thirties. Either way, he was clearly in his prime. His dark, calculating eyes gazed at the files before him as he frowned slightly.

"Yondaime Hokage. The greatest Hokage ever, dattebayo!" Naruto declared.

"What?" Hissed the ponytailed man under his breath.

"It's a rookie card, from when he was a genin." Naruto explained, glaring at Sakura as he spoke.

"A trading card? Seriously? Are you kidding…?" The man asked in disbelief, looking at Sakura.

"You never loved Yondaime like I did!" Naruto said, resuming his argument.

"You never loved ME like you love Yondaime!" Wailed Sakura, pounding the table with her fists and denting it in the process.

"What did I ever do to make you so angry?" Naruto demanded .

"It's time…" A soft voice called to the ponytailed man.

A woman with long, silky dark-blue hair popped her head into the room, nodding to him. She took in the scene before her, her lavender eyes filling up with confusion. But working as a divorce lawyer's secretary for so long had taught her not to ask too many questions. She then left, shutting the door softly behind her.

The man sighed with relief, and jumped up out of his chair. Turning to Sakura, he said, "Excuse me…"

"Maybe you oughta make a list of what you DIDN'T do! That'll be MUCH longer!" Sakura shrieked, not taking any notice of her attorney.

"I don't know what you'd do if you couldn't find a way to blame everything on me, dattebayo!" Naruto protested.

"Please! You mean BESIDES living a long, happy life-!" Sakura began, preparing a lecture of exactly what she'd do besides blame her soon to be ex-husband.

Tuning out the argument, the silver-haired man sighed and said, "How's nine sound?"

"Sounds good. Man, what a drag." The other attorney responded, gathering his things. "Okay Sakura, I'll see in the morning. All right?" He said, patting his client on the shoulder lightly before bolting out of the room.

"You're just afraid that I don't need you!" Howled Sakura, not noticing her attorney leave.

"So, after a whole day of that…" The man's secretary appeared and fell into step beside her boss. "You still want to get engaged, Nara-san?" She asked softly, her pretty lavender eyes looking at him questioningly.

"Please. People like _that _get married on a crazy, romantic whim. How troublesome." He responded, rolling his eyes. "It's not like that with Temari and me."

"Right. No romantic stuff for you, Nara-san." The secretary said, giggling slightly as she handed him his coat.

"Oh, come on. We're rational!" The man protested, pulling on his coat and grabbing his briefcase. "We've taken the time to understand each other's strengths and weaknesses."

"Love isn't like a game of shogi or go, Shikamaru-san." The secretary said, looking a little disconcerted.

"It can be." Shikamaru said, grabbing his umbrella.

"Have you told your daughter yet?" The woman asked, suddenly looking a little worried.

She was rather fond of her boss' daughter, often babysitting her when Shikamaru was out with his fiancée. _Poor Keiko-chan… she won't like this. There's nothing wrong with Temari-san, but she never really liked her all that much… _The woman thought.

"Ah… no." He admitted. "Not yet. But I'm going to." Seeing the worried look on her face, he added, "Tonight. And I got her a present, too."

"A pony?"

"No. Something much better."

"A _book_?"

Shikamaru sat in a taxi, next to his daughter. She held the present on her lap, and looked at him in disbelief. She resembled her father greatly, with thoughtful hazel eyes, and dark hair that was currently pulled into pigtails. At the moment she was wearing martial arts gear, and she had wrinkled her nose with distaste. _I wanted a pony, or something… Books are okay, but it'd be better if it was Cinderella or something…_ She thought sadly.

"Troublesome…. Don't give me that look." Her father protested, taking the book and holding it up. "Look, I know it's not one of those fairy tale books you like, but this is better." He promised, rifling through the pages. "Hmm… see?" He showed her the page he'd found.

The chapter began with a picture of a beautiful woman that appeared to be in her twenties. She had long blonde hair that was in low pigtails, bright brown eyes, thick eyelashes, shiny red lipstick, and a blue beauty mark on her forehead.

"Lady Tsunade, one of the three great Sanin. She was a remarkable woman, dedicating her life to medical research." Shikamaru explained. "I had the pleasure of meeting her before she died of radiation poisoning." "She… _died_?" Keiko asked, her eyes growing wide. _What kinda story is this, anyways? _She thought.

Shikamaru was saved the necessity of answering when his cell phone rang. "Uh, yeah… Hi." He said. Keiko sighed and rolled her eyes, turning to the book that she now held in her lap. "Tomorrow morning. Yeah. 7:30? And hey, lemme call you later, okay? Yeah. Alright. Bye!" He hung up the phone, and turned towards his daughter.

"That was Temari."

"Mm-hmm." Shikamaru sighed. "Troublesome…" He muttered under his breath. "Uh, y'know… she's a lot like those women. You know, in your book." He said, tapping a page with his finger.

Keiko looked at her father, but remained silent.

"Ah, Keiko-chan?" Shikamaru began, looking a little uncomfortable. "I'm gonna ask her to marry me. Temari, I mean." He said, looking at his daughter.

"What?!" Keiko asked, looking horrified.

"Yeah, I mean… you like her, don't you?" Shikamaru continued. "We all get along, we all can have a good time together."

"Where's she gonna live?" asked Keiko, still staring at her father.

"Well, she's gonna live with us." He replied.

"Do I have to give up my bedroom?" She asked, looking at her father nervously.

"No, you don't have to give up your bedroom, no. Of course not." Shikamaru looked at his daughter in wonder. "It's gonna be great. I promise." He said softly, tugging his daughter's pigtails affectionately and smiling. "It's not like she's gonna try and be your mom." He added, looking at his daughter seriously.

"Yeah. A _stepmother_." She mumbled, wrinkling her nose in disgust.

"She'll be a good stepmother. And hey, tomorrow she's gonna take you to school, just you and her. For some 'grown-up girl bonding time'." Shikamaru promised.

"Dad, I'm only six." Keiko said, rolling her eyes.

"…You won't always be." He said, smiling in a bittersweet sort of way.

Keiko sighed. "Dad, if this is about boys…"

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**And that concludes chapter four! I tried to make it longer, to make up for not updating. Once again I apologize, and once again I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Please review and/or message me with constructive criticism, ideas, or whatever. Until next time! =)**


	5. Princess? Please

**Hello, and welcome to… *insert dramatic drumroll here* Naruchanted, chapter two! ^_^ First off, I'd like to give a special thank you to shelvesinthecloset, who gave me a very nice review. So, thank you! *bows* And read her stories while you're at it, they're quite good. =)**

**And here's a quick recap in case you've forgotten: Ino, along with her animal friends, are currently constructing a statue of her dream prince. Then, they realize, he doesn't have lips! Therefore, Ino must burst into song explaining True Love's Kiss (which is the most powerful thing in the world, in case you didn't know).**

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The prince, atop his horse, dashed over a river and through the woods in search of the singing maiden. As he rode, he suddenly sat up straighter and looked around in alarm.

"TRUUUE LOOOOVE'S KIIIIIIISSS…" Came a sudden loud, baritone warbling from overhead. As the prince looked up in shock, the troll he had just captured waddled over him, also in pursuit of the maiden.

"Ha! You shall NOT prevail, foul troll!" The prince cried, thrusting his fist into the air. "That maiden is MINE!"

~In the meantime (again)~

Ino sat on her window seat, gazing out at the beautiful landscape before her.

"Do you really think this 'dream boy' of yours exists, Ino-chan?" Chouji said suddenly, scurrying up into her lap.

"Oh Chouji…" Ino sighed, smiling.

_Uh-oh… I know that look… _The chipmunk thought in exasperation.

"I just _know_ he's out there somewhere!" She finished, smiling dreamily. "Eye… eye… eye…" All the animals began squeaking, staring out the window behind Ino in horror.

Ino tilted her head to the side slightly, looking confused. "I, I, I what?" She asked, laughing. Behind her, a huge pair of brown eyes appeared in the window.

"_I_ EAT YOU NOW." Came the unexpected response from behind her. She jumped, and turned towards the window slowly.

Ino screamed and dived out of the way as a huge green hand shot into the house, breaking the window. As she fell, she landed in the lap of her statue, and threw her arms around its neck as if it would protect her.

"Oh…" She wailed, clinging to the statue for dear life as another hand came down beside her, this time threw the roof.

"GOTCHA!" The troll called out happily, both hands finally scooping up his prize.

"HUH?" He stared ahead of him, blinking stupidly as a blonde girl scampered out of another window and up a tree branch. She saw him looking, and shrieked, climbing further up the tree. The troll pulled his catch out of the house, only to see it was Ino's prized statue.

"HEY…" He growled, crushing the statue in his hand. "THAT'S CHEATING!" He roared, stepping onto the house as he went after the girl.

Ino whimpered as her house and statue were reduced to rubble, but kept climbing.

"I SUPPOSED TO EAT YOU." The troll insisted, beginning to catch up to her.

"Oh!" Ino stared in surprise.

_Since when do trolls climb trees?! _She thought in terror, laying flat on the branch and crawling to the edge.

"Oh no, ya don't! Ya big LUG!" Yelped Chouji, leaping onto the confused troll's head.

The troll and Ino were both on a single branch that had managed to hold them, but with the added weight of a certain plump chipmunk, the branch began to lean towards the ground. As the tree creaked and groaned, Chouji spoke up.

"Wow. I gotta lay off them nuts!" He lamented, patting his stomach.

"GUH… YUMMY." The troll growled, seeing Ino and remembering why he was up there in the first place. He reached towards her, causing the branch to sway.

"Fear not, fair maiden! I am here!" Called a voice from below.

Ino squinted, looking down. Mounted on a handsome black stallion was an equally handsome prince. Even from the height she was at, she could see he had black hair that reflected blue, and proud features.

"Heh…" Ino was at a loss for words. She smiled vaguely, pushing her hair behind her ear then waving at him.

_Well, this is an awkward way to meet._ She thought.

"Oh!" She cried, slipping further down the branch.

"Ha! Gotcha!" Chouji scampered down the branch, grabbing hold of Ino's big toe.

"Whoa…" His eyes widened as he too began to slide down.

The branch curved, and Ino and Chouji were nearly upside down. Ino screamed, and fell off the branch. As she fell, she made a wild grab and managed to grab hold of another branch.

The troll however was not as fortunate.

"Uh-oh." He whimpered in a small voice, as the branch snapped back like a slingshot, catapulting him to who-knows-where.

"Um… Chouji-kun…" Ino said, still holding desperately onto a branch with one hand.

Her hand began slipping, and Chouji rushed over.

"Hang on! I'm coming!" Chouji, who had still been holding onto Ino's toe, scurried up her and onto the branch.

Once again however, the plump chimpmunk proved too much for the tree. As the branch jerked, Ino fell to the ground screaming.

After falling through several branches, she landed in the prince's lap.

"Ohmigosh… it's _you_." She said, throwing her arms around his neck and looking at him with adoration.

He was exactly as she had imagined. Handsome face, black-blue hair, onyx eyes, fair skin. Just like her dream.

"Huh… yes, it's me." The prince said, bewildered but pleased all the same. "And you are?"

"Ino…" She said, looking at him dreamily.

"Ooohhh… INO!" He cried suddenly, punching his fist into the air before pulling her close to him. "We shall be married in the morning!" He declared, looking at her ecstatically.

_~You're the fairest maid I've ever met  
You were made...  
...to finish your duet  
And in years to come we'll reminisce  
How we came to love_

_And grow and grow love  
Since first we knew love through true love's kiss~_

And then, the happy couple rode off blissfully into the sunset, Ino's animal friends running along in their wake.

~Not everyone was happy, however…~

A tall, pale woman stood before a glowing orb, surveying the blissful scene angrily. Her gold eyes flashed, and her snake-like face contorted with rage. She sighed, and took a deep breath, closing her eyes. When she opened them, she smiled.

"Ah… So. _This _is the little forest rat who thinks she can take away _my_ throne?" She smiled sweetly, a complete contrast to the icy, dark dungeon of despair she was in.

Just as quickly as she had calmed herself, she became enraged once more.

"NEVER!!!" She howled, as brilliant flames swirled around her, engulfing the cavern.


	6. Cleaning and the Magic Room

**Welcome to chapter six! ^_^ I know you all missed our beloved Prince Sasuke, so he's back in action, along with Chouji the Chipmunk.**

**It's been awhile since I updated, but I plan on seeing this and my Zutara story through to the end. :)**

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~Back In Andalasia (Sort of), But Not For Long~

Sasuke leaped down the well, yelling, "Don't worry Ino. I'll rescue you!"

"Yeah, but who's going to rescue MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" Chouji wailed as he somersaulted down the well after Sasuke.

~New York City (Toldja We Weren't Gonna Be There For Long)~

"Right, let's close it up!" A construction worker said to his fellows, gesturing towards a manhole.

The words barely came out of his mouth when a handsome young man popped out of the open manhole. He was dressed like a fairy tale prince, and had an interesting hairdo than resembled a blue-black cockatiel.

"Hey, buddy, you-" The man was cut off as Sasuke drew his sword and pointed it at the man's throat.

His friends yelled and were about to jump Sasuke, but the man raised his hands and said, "Guys, guys, I got this."

"What is your name, peasant?" Sasuke asked, regarding the man coolly.

"Arty."

"Are you working with the wicked old hag that sent the fair Ino to this horrible place, Arty?" Sasuke demanded.

The man shook his head, nonplussed. The man, Sasuke, and the rest of the construction workers then frowned at looked at the manhole beneath Sasuke. A loud wailing was coming from it, and getting louder.

A splash of water shot up, sending a chipmunk into Sasuke's free hand.

"Is this man helping the hag?" He asked the chipmunk.

In response, the rodent leaped onto its hind legs and shook its head, before waving its paws at the construction worker and squeaking incoherently. As soon as the chipmunk heard its self, it let out another squeak and covered its mouth with its paws. Arty stared at the chipmunk, not sure of what to make of it.

The animal coughed, cleared its throat, then began chattering again. Once again, it stopped and covered its mouth, almost looking… embarrassed. That is, if a chipmunk _could _look embarrassed…

"Poor chipmunk." Sasuke sighed and shook his head. "Speechless in my presence."

He then pinned Arty to the construction workers' van and pressed his sword into his throat.

"Don't try my patience!" Sasuke warned. Arty nodded and looked terrified.

"I'm looking for a beautiful girl." Sasuke said. Noting the blank stare that met him, he elaborated, "You know, my other half, my one coquette, the answer to my love's duet."

"I'd like to find one of them too, y'know?" Arty whimpered.

"Then keep looking, Arty." Sasuke said, releasing the man and patting him on the shoulder.

"Come on, Chouji!" Sasuke called over his shoulder as he suddenly raced off into traffic.

Arty gasped and massaged his throat, staring distractedly after Sasuke.

"Did… did you guys see that chipmunk?" He managed to ask his fellow workers.

~Another, More Peaceful (for the next few moments) Part of NYC~

Ino sat up slowly and yawned, stretching her arms into the air. Her large wedding dress crinkled as she shifted her position so she could look around better.

She was on the couch still, where she'd fallen asleep. She rubbed her eyes and looked curiously around the room. Her expression quickly changed to one of shock.

"Oh… oh my." Ino murmured.

There were scattered newspapers and books everywhere, along with pencils, pens, socks, shoes, and neckties belonging to Shikamaru. Stuffed animals were lying here and there as well, still where Keiko had left them from playing with them last. The table was covered with old coffee cups, napkins, spoons, and dishes. Keiko's crayons and various articles of clothing belonging to both Nara's littered the furniture and floor. She could see the kitchen had dirty dishes, napkins, scraps of food, and old pizza and takeout boxes on the counters and table.

It was very, very different from the neat little tree house Ino was used to.

"This just won't do." Ino sighed, shaking her head.

Then, struck by inspiration, Ino leapt up and giggled, throwing a window open. Why hadn't she thought of it right away? Leaning out of the window she cupped a hand to her mouth and began to sing.

Ino went back inside and picked up a newspaper, examining it and twirling in place while she waited.

Sure enough, a cabinet creaked open, and a rats began streaming out. Soot fell out of the fireplace, accompanied by a swarm of flies. Pigeons swooped in through the window, causing Ino to gasp when one of them collided into the glass.

"Are you alright?" Ino asked anxiously as the bird fell to the windowsill.

The one-legged pigeon hopped inside, healthy as ever. Ino laughed slightly in relief, then turned nervously to look at her audience. She was surrounded by a vast crowd of rats, pigeons, and flies.

"Uh… hello." She began, looking terrified. "Well… it's always nice to make new friends, isn't it?"

Ino then regained her composure and continued speaking in a business-like manner.

"Alright everyone. Let's tidy things up!"

Ino then danced out of the room, beckoning for the creatures to follow as she began to sing:

_Come my little friends  
As we all sing a happy little working song  
Merry little voices clear and strong  
Come and roll your sleeves up  
So that we can pitch in  
Cleaning crud up in the kitchen  
As we sing along_

Ino began sweeping, and the animals followed her lead, obeying the lyrics.

_And you'll trill a cheery tune in the tub  
As we scrub a stubborn mildew stain  
Lug a hairball from the shower drain  
To the gay refrain  
Of a happy working song_

Ino cheerfully moved from the kitchen to the bathroom, supervising her new friends' work and helping out.

_We'll keep singing without fail  
Otherwise we'd spoil it  
Hosing down the garbage pail  
And scrubbing up the toilet  
Ooh!_

Ino skipped back into the living room, leaving cleanliness in her path.

_How we all enjoy letting loose with a little  
La-da-da-dum-dum  
While we're emptying the vacu-um  
It's such fun to hum  
A happy working song  
Oo-ooh  
A happy working song_

Ino flung open the windows, reveling in the breeze as she continued her song, now heading out to the balcony.

_Oh, how strange a place to be  
Till Edward comes for me  
My heart is sighing  
Still, as long as I am here  
I guess a new experience  
Could be worth trying  
Hey! Keep drying!_

Ino teasingly scolded the rats, who were making boats out of the dishes instead of drying. At her sudden reappearance in the kitchen they scurried about, beginning work again.

_You could do a lot when you got  
Such a happy little tune to hum  
While you're sponging up the soapy scum  
We adore each filthy chore  
That we determine  
So friends even though you're vermin  
We're a happy working song_

The one-legged pigeon dropped a dish, falling to the counter with a crash. The broken dish was quickly swept up and put away.

In the main bedroom, Keiko Nara woke up at the sudden noise, looking around. Her father was fast asleep, so she crept out of the room to see what was going on.

_Singing as we fetch the detergent box  
Or the smelly shirts and the stinky socks  
Sing along  
If you cannot sing then hum along  
As we're finishing our happy working song!_

Keiko let out a squeal at the sight of Ino twirling and singing, and at the vermin cleaning. Ino sat on the couch and spoke brightly to her new friends, not noticing Keiko.

"Wasn't this fun?" She asked the one-legged pigeon brightly.

It cooed, then turned to a cockroach and quickly snatched it up with a _crunch_!

Keiko raced back into her father's room, jumping on the bed and shaking him frantically.

"Wake up, wake up!" She begged, hitting him on the shoulder.

Shikamaru groaned and turned over. Keiko knew he was a heavy sleeper, but she didn't see how he could possibly sleep at a time like this.

"Whaa…" He mumbled.

Keiko continued to chant 'wake up', and finally hit him as hard as she could with a pillow.

"Ugh… what?" Shikamaru demanded, opening one eye. "What is it?"

"You have to come see!" Keiko gasped, her eyes bright with excitement.

She began tugging on her father's arm impatiently, attempting to pull him out of bed.

"I can't tell you, you have to come see!" Keiko insisted.

At this point the urgency in his daughter's voice awoke Shikamaru enough to roll out of bed and allow himself to be pulled from the bedroom.

"What's wrong?" He asked, beginning to feel worried. "Are you okay?"

They jogged down the hallway to the living room, and Keiko pointed to it, looking at her father expectantly.

"Look!"

Pigeons and flies were zooming around the room, while cockroaches and rats scurried over the floor. Shikamaru stared in shock and disgust, unable to move for a moment. Seeing only the vermin, Shikamaru took no notice of the drastic change in his living space.

"Out! GET OUT!" Shikamaru barked, running into the room and waving his arms.

He scooped cockroaches out the window, and attempted to seize a pigeon and do the same. Keiko picked two rats up by the tails.

"What should I do with them?"

"Out… outside! Quick, open the door! No, don't put them back!" Shikamaru panted hastily.

Keiko obediently ran to open the door, tossing the rats in the hallway. Miraculously, Shikamaru managed to herd all of the vermin out into the hallway and slam the door shut. He leaned against it, breathing heavily. He felt slightly guilty at the thought of the vermin loose in the building, but at least they were out of his apartment.

He then straightened up, looking towards the bathroom. Singing was issuing from it, along with the sound of running water. There was somebody in his shower? Of course. That wedding princess freak. Ino. He shook his head and walked down the hallway.

"Stay there." He hissed at Keiko.

"Daddy…" She protested, but obeyed as he waved a hand at her.

"Hello?" He called, rapping on the bathroom door.

"Come in!" Called Ino brightly.

Shikamaru sighed and stepped into the bathroom.

"Yeah, listen I…" Shikamaru stopped in shock, mouth hanging open.

Ino was naked, except for a towel that was being wrapped around her by a couple of helpful pigeons.

"Good morning, Shikamaru!" Ino said brightly before turning to the pigeons. "How thoughtful! Thank you!"

"Uh…" Shikamaru turned away awkwardly, studying the floor tile.

"Oh, I hope you slept well and had nice dreams!" Ino said sincerely, wrapping the towel more tightly around her body.

"I think I'm still in one." Shikamaru mumbled, but Ino took no notice.

"This is a magical room!" She exclaimed, gesturing towards the shower. "Where does the water come from?"

Ino began taking her hair down, looking at Shikamaru with bright interest.

"Well… the water comes from the, uh, pipes." He explained, stepping further into the room, and turning the shower off.

"Where do the pipes get it?"

Ino shook her long blonde hair loose and began running her fingers through it, keeping her eyes trained on Shikamaru.

"From, uh… wherever the pipes get it." He said lamely, meeting her gaze nervously.

"Oh…it is magical…" Ino gushed softly, looking around the room with a fond smile.

Shikamaru looked at her, shaking his head. He could decide if he found her endearingly amusing or annoyingly exasperating.

There was a knock on the door, and Keiko hastened to open it.

"Hi girlfriend!" A tall woman with short, sandy blonde hair and dark green eyes stood in the doorway, waving.

"H-hi Temari!" Keiko managed to say, her eyes widening.

"So what do you say, ready to kick it?" Temari asked brightly, walking into the apartment.

"Kick _what_?" Keiko asked, looking puzzled.

Temari shook her head, and looked at Keiko, smiling in confusion.

"Honey, why do you still have your PJ's on?"

"It's been pretty busy around here." Keiko said by way of explanation, shrugging.

Temari, looking more confused than ever, looked around the roomy apartment.

"Wow. It's really neat in here." She continued towards the living room. "Did you guys get a maid?"

"No…" Keiko said patiently, trying her best not to laugh. "Not exactly."

Meanwhile, in the bathroom, Shikamaru was wiping the water from the floor. Ino watched him with interest, before remarking brightly,

"Don't worry. My friends will do that."

Ino began to sing again, but the pigeons flew at Shikamaru in confusion. He yelped and fell out of the bathroom, Ino landing on top of him with a shriek. He groaned, looking up at Ino. Her eyes were wide with surprise as she looked at him. She swept her long hair over her shoulder and began giggling. Shikamaru, realizing how absurd the whole thing must look, began laughing as well.

That is, until he looked up and saw his fiancée standing in the hall staring at him. Shikamaru realized how _wrong_ the whole thing must look. Ino, wearing only a towel, was straddling him. He was still in his pajamas, and both of them were rather wet.

"Temari?" He said weakly.

"Oh! Hello!" Ino said brightly.

"Who's this?" Temari asked, narrowing her eyes.

"Nothing! This is nothing!" Shikamaru said, attempting to grab hold of Ino when she leapt off of him towards Temari.

"I'm Ino! I was on my way to the castle to get married…"

"…nothing, Temari, this is nothing!" Shikamaru repeated frantically.

"She's getting married?" Temari asked, staring at her.

"Not yet, not yet." Shikamaru said distractedly, scrambling to his feet and pulling Ino away from Temari. He pushed her against a wall and gave her a significant look, while she looked confused.

"Not yet? What do you mean, _'not yet'_?" Temari demanded, her voice getting louder.

"Temari… she was lost, and I was just trying to help her…" Shikamaru said softly, looking down at his fiancée intently.

"With what, finding the shower!?" Temari snapped, her voice climbing an octave in her fury.

Shikamaru closed his eyes and was about to reason with Temari when Ino stepped forward and began speaking earnestly.

"The shower! The shower is wonderful, Temari, you should-" Ino was cut off when Shikamaru pulled her away from Temari, who looked ready to pounce.

"Yes, I'm sure it is 'wonderful!" She said, glaring daggers at Shikamaru.

Shikamaru darted back towards Temari and tried frantically to reason with her.

"Temari, let's talk." He said quietly, leading her towards the living room.

"Talk about _what, _Shikamaru?" Temari demanded. "How I _never_ stay the night, because we both agree that since Keiko's here, you have to maintain some boundaries, and I thought 'I'm so lucky, he's sensitive!' I didn't realize that you were worried about… about…" Temari looked furious, searching for the right words. "_Crowd control!_" She finally spat.

With those final words she strode towards the door furiously, Shikamaru on her heels, still trying to reconcile.

"So we _will _talk later…?"

"Don't bet on it." Temari wrenched the door open but Shikamaru leaned on it, looking at her pleadingly.

"What about taking Keiko to school today, for some grown-up girl-bonding time?" He said, glancing down at his daughter for emphasis.

Temari looked down at Keiko too, hesitating. She than looked back at Shikamaru, dark green eyes flashing.

"What, so _you _can have some 'grown-up girl-bonding time'?" Temari asked coolly, looking over Shikamaru's shoulder at Ino.

Ino, still unsure of what was going on, smiled uncertainly and waved to Temari. Unfortunately, this only made Temari angrier.

"I don't think so." Temari reopened the door, ignoring Shikamaru's pleas. She slammed it shut, while Ino called out a cheery 'Good bye!'

Shikamaru turned slowly towards Ino, who was still oblivious to what was going on.

"Oh she's lovely." Ino said, nodding seriously.

Shikamaru stared at Ino for a long time, wondering yet again what he'd gotten himself into…


	7. Working Hard Yet Hardly Working

After a few moments of silence, Shikamaru shook his head and glanced at his daughter.

"Get dressed, please." He told her. "For school."

Shikamaru looked at Ino and Keiko once more, then shook his head and walked out of the apartment. He ran down the stairs all the way to the lobby, then headed out the front doors, looking frantically for his fiancée. He spotted her across the street, getting into a taxi.

"Temari, WAIT!" He yelled, but Temari either didn't hear or didn't care, and the taxi drove off.

Shikamaru let out a growl of frustration, running his fingers through his long, dark hair. He then headed back into the building, mumbling under his breath about how 'troublesome' the situation was.

Ino was in the bathroom again when he returned, and he knocked on the door impatiently.

"Hello?" She called.

"Okay, you know what? You've got to leave." Shikamaru said as calmly as he could. "I don't know what your deal is, if you're waiting for your Prince Charming or your just-"

"Prince _Sasuke_." Ino corrected sternly.

"Whatever." Shikamaru interrupted as she continued going on about her darling Sasuke. "I'll get you to a bus, a train, a plane, but that's it! I can't be involved after that!"

He was about to walk away when the bathroom door swung open and Ino stepped out, her long blonde hair in a hair ponytail. She was dressed in a white and green plaid dress. It looked familiar somehow…

Shikamaru was shaken from his thoughts when Ino opened her mouth to say something, but shut it again, flitting away quickly. Shikamaru followed her relentlessly.

"Where did you get that?" He asked, gesturing towards Ino's outfit.

"I made it. Do you like it?" Ino looked at him hopefully, but he was too busy staring over her head in shock.

His white and green plaid curtains were hanging up, but there were holes where somebody had clearly cut pieces of fabric to make a dress.

"You're upset." Ino stated, her brilliant blue eyes filled with concern.

"You made a dress out of my curtains!?" Shikamaru strode into the living room so he could examine the damage further.

"Oooohhh… you _are _upset! I am so sorry!" Ino looked at him, clasping her hands, the very picture of remorse.

"Oh, I'm not just upset. I'm angry!" Shikamaru snapped, turning to face Ino and walking towards her.

"Angry?" Ino looked puzzled.

"Yes. It's an unpleasant emotion. Ever hear of it?"

"Oh, yes, of course I've heard of it, but I've-"

"You have created a completely unnecessary complication that I now have to resolve." Shikamaru cut in, his tone cold. "See, the fact is, I was about to make a serious commitment, and take a step forward in life. A proposal, actually-"

Ino squealed and showed every sign of interrupting, but Shikamaru continued over her.

"-but now Temari's got it in her mind that you and I-"

"Kissed!?" Ino gasped and covered her mouth, blue eyes wide with shock.

"Yeah, something like that!" Shikamaru replied shortly, turning away from Ino.

"Oh no…" Ino sighed, thinking of how to fix the problem. She brightened up almost immediately. "You should sing to her!"

"Sing to her?" Shikamaru said in disbelief, looking at Ino.

"Oooohhh, yes! Maybe that would reassure her of how you feel!" Ino said earnestly, her face shining.

"You need to rush to her side-"

Ino darted up to Shikamaru and placed her hands on his chest.

"And hold her in your arms-"

Ino turned her back on Shikamaru, clasping her hands together and leaning on him. He held his arms out, not touching her, but prepared to catch her in case she collapsed against him, which she seemed in danger of doing.

"And pour your heart out in a beautiful ballad!"

Ino waved her hands as she spoke, attempting to illustrate the beauty of the moment she'd painted in her head.

"And then she'll know for sure…"

Ino sighed and stood up straight, a dreamy look on her face. Shikamaru stepped around her, brushing against her slightly. He stared at her intently.

"Why are you staring at me?" Ino asked self-consciously.

"I don't know. It's like you escaped from a Hallmark or something."

"Is that a bad thing?" Ino looked worried.

Shikamaru shook his head slightly, mouth hanging open. He became aware that they weren't alone, and he turned to see Keiko peering in the doorway, fully dressed.

"School! We're late, we gotta run!" He said frantically, darting away from Ino and into the bathroom.

Keiko rolled her eyes and Ino hurried over to her, staring at the bathroom door in bewilderment.

"School…?" She asked, tilting her head to the side.

~Meanwhile, In Andalasia…~

Queen Orochi let out a snakelike hiss, staring at the image of Ino and Keiko that was fading away in front of her into the waterfall.

"That little wench would like nothing better than to come back here and steal my throne!" She snarled. "And cast me aside like royal rubbish, oh what on earth?"

She swatted at several leaves that were falling on her, and looked up to glare at Kabuto, who was trimming a bush so that looked like her.

"Perhaps Prince Sasuke won't find her." He said soothingly, looking down at his queen.

"Perhaps he WILL!" The Queen replied shrilly, her snakelike nostrils flaring.

Kabuto jumped, accidentally chopping off the head of the shrubbery as he did so. The Queen caught it, and flung it into the well behind her with surprising strength. She leaned over, staring down the well thoughtfully.

"Oh…_ooohhhh…_ I'd do wish there was someone who cared enough for me to go after him…" She sighed, batting her eyelashes at Kabuto as she spoke.

Kabuto straightened up importantly, smoothing down his hair and straightening his collar as Queen Orochi continued.

"A man like _that, _strong, and brave… I'd do _anything _for him." The Queen leaned in towards Kabuto (who had scrambled down his stepladder to stand by her), and gently caressed his face with a leaf had fallen in her hair.

"Don't worry, my Queen!" Kabuto declared, jamming his hat on his head and pushing his glasses up his nose. "I WILL STOP HIIIIIIIIMMMMM!"

Kabuto dove into the waterfall-well as he shouted the last sentence. Queen Orochi smirked, pleased with herself.

~Back In New York, With Arty & Co.~

Arty had just re-covered the manhole, and his coworkers were packing up. A few of them were already in the trucks, ready to go. Just as the last few workers (Arty included) had turned towards the truck they heard an odd, echoing wail that seemed to issue from underground.

With a loud CLANG the cover of the manhole was thrown off again, to reveal what appeared to be the rear end of a man.

"What now, another one?" Arty groaned as he and his friends inched cautiously towards the manhole.

A man was pushing himself out, feet first. Arty signaled his friends and they headed forward to help him out.

"C'mon, get him outta there!" He ordered, tugging as hard as he could. "Geez… where do these people come from anyways?"

They pulled the man up and out of the manhole, and he straightened himself up. He had long silver hair pulled in a ponytail, and dark intelligent eyes. He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose as he regarded the workers nervously.

"Uh, lemme guess." Arty began. "You're looking for a beautiful girl too?"

"No…" Kabuto looked puzzled. "I'm looking for a prince actually."

The guys exchanged looks while Arty nodded slowly.

"Riiiiight…"

"Hahahahahaha!"

The workers and Kabuto turned towards the sudden laughter, only to see a handsome, dark-haired young man perched on top of a bus. He was pale, and looked very smug as he drew his sword.

"You've met your match, beast!" He crowed, thrusting his sword threw the roof of the bus.

The busdriver slammed on the brakes, looking around at her passengers. She looked around and saw a sword sticking through the ceiling. She narrowed her brown eyes, and exited.

"Everyone stay on the bus and stay calm!" She said authoritively as she turned towards the doors to see what was going on.

"Ino?"

A man appeared in the doorway, hanging upside down. He had raven hair and dark eyes that were searching the bus. In the opposite window a plump chipmunk appeared, squeaking loudly.

The man took notice of the people staring at him, and smirked.

"The steel beast is dead, peasants!" He announced. "You're all free."

He swung himself back onto the roof of the bus. The busdriver squared her shoulders and marched off the bus. Her dark brown eyes were narrowed, and her brown hair was pulled into two buns.

"Are you crazy!?" She demanded, glaring up at the man lounging on top of her bus. "Nobody stabs my bus! I'll tear you apart!"

The woman pulled out several pocketknives and Swiss Army knives to illustrate her point.

"Do you hear me?" She barked. "Get down here RIGHT NOW!"

At that moment a silver-haired man with glasses rushed up to her, looking distinctly worn out.

"Ma'am, allow me." He said politely, turning towards the bus.

Sasuke leaped up in surprise, ignoring the chipmunks furious squeals and squeaks.

"Kabuto!" He called in surprise.

"YOU'RE a friend of HIS?" The busdriver demanded. "Crazy, freak-show,… YOU THINK YOU CAN MESS UP MY ROUTE!?"

Kabuto's eyes widened as the chipmunk landed on the woman's head, though she was in too much of a rage to notice. The chipmunk began imitating her, waving it's paws in the air and squeaking shrilly.

"Don't you roll your eyes at me!" The woman snapped at Kabuto, while he lifted a finger to point at the top of her head.

"A RAT!" She screamed, her hands flying to her hair as she finally took notice of the chipmunk. "Get him AWAY from me!"

She began running in circles, slashing at the 'rat' with her weapons and swatting at him.

Sasuke shook his head.

"Strictly speaking he's a chipmunk." He pointed out, leaping off of the bus.

"Sir… may I suggest that we look somewhere else for your bride?" Kabuto asked, looking warily at the weapon-brandishing busdriver.

~Meanwhile, At A Certain Boring Office Building…~

Shikamaru walked briskly into the lobby, Ino at his side. She was turning her head so frequently to take everything in that he was surprised she didn't have whiplash.

He didn't notice when Ino paused to gawk at a statue of a fat, naked woman in the middle of the lobby. Realizing soon enough that he was alone he darted back and grabbed her arm.

"What are you looking at?" He asked in irritation.

"She's beautiful…" Ino whispered, staring at the woman with wide eyes.

"It's a _statue._" He hissed, dragging her away.

Shikamaru finally reached his secretary's desk, Ino in tow.

"Hinata!" He leaned on the desk, looking frantic. "_Please _don't tell me Mrs. Uzumaki-soon-to-be-Ms. Haruno is already here."

Hinata paused for a moment, looking nervous.

"Mrs. Uzumaki… um, Ms. Haruno… uh… she's already here." Hinata said apologetically.

"Great." Shikamaru slammed his briefcase onto the desk.

"Yes. Along with Mr. Uzumaki and his lawyer."

"Perfect. How long have they been here?"

"Do you really want to know?" Hinata asked in a small voice.

"No." Shikamaru said shortly. "Look. I need you to handle something for me…"

He glanced unwillingly at Ino, who was gazing out the window in wonder. They were on one of the top floors, and she was staring at the tiny people and cars down below.

"See this girl?" He gestured towards Ino, who was wandering over towards the fish tank.

"Who is she?" Hinata asked curiously.

"No idea. Pretty sure she's from out of town."

"What do you want me to do?" Hinata asked, lavender eyes filled with confusion.

"Find out where she's from and get here there. And make sure it's cheap, because I'm going to have to fill out the paperwork. Oh, and if Temari calls, I need to talk to her."

With those final instructions Shikamaru raced off towards Ino and the fishtank, leaving an overwhelmed secretary behind him.

"Ino? Ino, don't drink that okay? Hinata's going to get you home, alright?"

Ino looked surprised, but allowed herself to be yanked over to the secretary's desk, where Hinata was finishing a phone call.

"Hinata, Ino. Ino, Hinata. Stay out of trouble!" Shikamaru intoned warningly as he headed off again, this time for his office.

Hinata greeted Ino warmly, looking her over. She was very beautiful, and seemed friendly. Ino smiled, and leaned over her cup of water, spitting a fish into it.

"Oh… oh…" Hinata's eyes widened, and she looked frightened.

"Nice to meet you." Ino said, smiling sweetly.

"N-n-nice t-to m-meet y-you t-t-t-too." Hinata managed to say in a stuttering whisper.

Unnoticed by them, a head appeared in the fish tank, glowering at them. She was extremely pale, with a snakelike face and golden eyes. As a fish swam towards her to investigate, she bared her teeth and attempted to bite it. It (unsurprisingly) swam away quickly as the head vanished with a huff.

~Down A Few Blocks, In a Restaurant's Kitchen~

"Your majesty?" Kabuto hissed under his breath, looking around frantically.

"Kabuto!" Came the soft but commanding reply.

Kabuto started and began lifting the lids off of dishes, searching frantically for the right one. The voice called again, and he hastened to lift the lid off of a frying pan.

"KABUTO!" Came the furious whisper from a rattling pot on the stove.

Kabuto went over to it, pulling the lid off to reveal the scowling face of his queen in the water.

"_Finally._" She sighed, waving a hand in front of her face. "I'm _boiling _in here! Have you found her yet?"

The queen looked at Kabuto expectantly. He shuffled his feet nervously under her gaze, but spoke calmly enough.

"I'm afraid I haven't, my lady."

"Time is of the essence!" the queen scolded. "We can't risk my stepson bringing the girl back!"

"He won't, Your Majesty!" Kabuto vowed quietly. "I swear it!"

"No, he won't. I intend to make absolutely sure of it." The queen smirked.

"But Your Majesty, how exactly did you…" Kabuto trailed off, suddenly aware of one of the chefs staring at him curiously. "…Ever end up tasting so, mmm… delicious!" He laughed shakily, slurping up some soup as the chef turned away, shaking his head.

Kabuto watched the soup begin to bubble, and three bright red apples emerged with soft sloshing sounds. Kabuto understood immediately.

"Poisoned apples, my lady?" He asked in hushed tones. "You mean, you want me to…?"

"Kabuto, don't you _sssssee_ my darling?" The Queen crooned in her soft hiss. "If there's ever going to be a happily ever after for _us_…"

"Happily… ever after…Ohhh… my lady!" Kabuto murmured in ecstasy.

"Mmmm, yes. It won't be that difficult. Just one bite. That's all it takes. One. Small. Bite…" The Queen nodded as Kabuto scooped up the first apple. "…To drag her down into a deep and troubled sleep!" The queen grasped an apple with an evil grin, then allowed it to bob back to the surface for Kabuto, who grabbed both remaining apples.

"And when the clock strikes twelve, that precious little contender for my throne _will be gone_!" The Queen's eyes shone with malice as her face twisted into a cruel smile.

"Consider it done, my lady." Kabuto smiled as well, bowing. "I swear it."

"Yes, you'll find the girl at Columbus Circ-"

Before the queen could finish her instructions a ladle scooped her up and sloshed her into a bowl. The bowl was carried away while Kabuto watched in horror.

"Your majesty?" He asked, looking around frantically to see if she would reappear.

He gazed into the pot, frowning. What on earth…? There was an odd, distorted reflection on the surface of the soup. It looked like some sort of rodent. A very _familiar _rodent… He spun around to see Chouji the Chipmunk perched on a rack behind him, squeaking nervously and waving a paw.

"You little…" Kabuto growled and whipped his chef hat off, attempting to capture Chouji in it. The other people in the kitchen stared at him as he began running around the kitchen, occasionally slamming his hat down and growling profanity.

The chipmunk scurried out to the restaurant part of the building, where Sasuke was walking around and carrying a tray laden with food. Chouji made his way toward him, landing in front of him with several terrified squeaks.

"Chouji!" Sasuke said, setting down the sandwich he'd been about to eat.

"Sir! Sir!" Kabuto appeared, gasping for breath. "I beg you; don't listen to that _insane _little vermin! He's probably eaten some bad nuts. Maybe we should put him down for his own good?"

Kabuto sat down opposite of Sasuke, seizing the chipmunk and putting a knife to his neck.

"Kabuto, please." Sasuke sighed, waving a hand and looking bored. "Let him speak."

"Sire, no! He's delirious! He'll tell you all sorts of-"

Kabuto fell silent as Sasuke raised a commanding hand. Scowling, he released the chipmunk. Chouji coughed, and cleared his throat.

"Go on, Chouji. What do you want to say?" Sasuke leaned in towards the chipmunk, looking at him expectantly.

The chipmunk pointed at Sasuke, then at his own eyes, then placed his paws on his chest. He then rubbed his paws together, trying to look greedy.

Sasuke imitated rubbed his own hands together, looking at Chouji intently, trying to understand. Chouji pointed at Kabuto, and Sasuke did they same.

"Kabuto…"

Chouji squeaked and nodded, gesturing for Sasuke to continue as Kabuto began to look worried.

"Kabuto's… glad to have me near." Sasuke finished, looking at Chouji for confirmation.

Chouji waved his paws and squeaked in irritation. Sasuke looked surprised, but watched to see what clue Chouji would give him next.

Chouji rubbed his paws together, narrowing his eyes and looking greedy as he squeaked his best imitation of Kabuto. He then scurried over to Sasuke's drink, tapping three ice cubes in it, then pulling one out. Chouji skidded back to the center of the table, clutching the icecube. He imitated Kabuto holding it out to an invisible person, offering it to them. He then scurried to where the invisible person would have stood. Chouji sucked in his gut, batting his eyes and twirling his tail. He squeaked a verse of one of Ino's favorite songs, then raced back and forth on the table. Imitating Kabuto and Ino to the best of his abilities, he mimed Ino accepting the icecube and taking a bite. He then flung the icecube aside, choking and sputtering before finally following onto the table, tongue lolling out and eyes rolling.

Kabuto watched Sasuke nervously, a thousand excuses and explanations running through his mind. Sasuke narrowed his onyx eyes, deep in concentration. Finally his face relaxed as he announced his conclusion.

"You feel you'd die without me here."

Chouji stared at Sasuke in disbelief. He'd always gotten the impression that the raven-haired prince was shallow, but he'd also thought he was supposed to be intelligent.

Obviously, he was wrong.


	8. But How Does She Know, ShikaKun?

~Back at Shikamaru Nara's Office~

Ino had her nose pressed to the fishtank again when Shikamaru emerged from his office, accompanied by his client, his client's soon-to-be-ex-husband, and the husband's attorney.

"I have to say, I really think that went well." Shikamaru commented, walking with the group past the fishtank. "There's no reason not to be reasonable after all."

"Yes, I actually think…" The silver-haired lawyer began.

"Sorry, excuse me a minute." Shikamaru apologized, heading over to Hinata, who was waving frantically at him.

"She has no driver's license, no passport, and I can't even find this place that she comes from." Hinata reported, gesturing towards the computer hopelessly.

"What place?" Shikamaru asked, looking over his shoulder at Ino distractedly.

"Andalusia."

"Andalasia." He corrected automatically.

"Well, I've called every travel agent, every airline, but I don't know if it's even a country, or a city…" Hinata trailed off, watching Ino twirl around the couches.

"Or state." Shikamaru injected, also following Ino's progress with his eyes.

"More like a state of mind." Hinata disagreed, looking faintly afraid of the beautiful blonde girl. "And she told me it's just beyond the Meadows of Joy and the Valley of Contentment."

Hinata looked absolutely terrified as she recalled Ino's words.

"What is that all about?" She whispered.

Ino gasped audibly while every stared. She drifted over to Shikamaru's client, and touched her short, silky pink hair.

"Omigoodness… your hair is lovely!" She said, admiring it. "Oh, you're beautiful."

"Why… thank you." Sakura nodded, retreating a half a step.

"The man who holds your heart is very lucky indeed." Ino said.

"Well you try telling _him_ that." Sakura replied with an irritated look.

"I'm sure he already knows…" Ino replied innocently.

"Excuse me?"

Ino turned to the blond-spiky haired man that had spoken.

"Oh! Are you him!" Ino asked brightly.

She skipped over to him, linking arms with him and gesturing enthusiastically at Sakura as she spoke.

"You are a very lucky man. I mean, just look at how her green eyes sparkle…" Ino sighed and reached out to pull Sakura closer. "It's so wonderful you're in love."

Hinata gave Shikamaru a gentle nudge, and he immediately intervened.

"Excuse me, I'm sorry, Ino? Please?" He grabbed her hand away from Sakura's and pulled her away so he could speak with her privately.

"Look, it's not like that, alright?" He said, giving a forced smile in hope that his client's would suspect anything off. "They're not together anymore."

"I don't understand." Ino looked up at Shikamaru, who glanced around before continuing in an undertone.

"They're getting a divorce." He elaborated. "They'll be separated from each other, okay?"

"Separating?"

"Yeah."

"For how long?" Ino asked, looking at Sakura and Naruto with pity and concern as they watched her and Shikamaru with curiousity.

"Forever." Shikamaru replied through gritted teeth, fake smile still plastered on his face for the benefit of his audience.

"Forever and…_ever?_" Ino said loudly, her eyes widening in horror.

"Shhh…" Shikamaru attempted to quiet her gently. "Yes."

"Oh no." Ino turned to face Sakura and Naruto, voice quavering.

"What are you doing?" Shikamaru murmured, beginning to feel worried. "Don't cry…!"

But it was too late. Ino began sniffing, her blue eyes swimming with tears. The sniffles turned to sobs as the tears poured down her face, beautiful even in sorrow.

"Are you crying?" Naruto stepped forward, staring at Ino in amazement.

"No, no she's not." Shikamaru tried to regain control of the situation.

"I'm sorry, I can't help it." Ino sobbed as Naruto continued voicing his amazement. "It's just so sad!"

Sakura rounded on Shikamaru, looking ready to spit fire.

"What kind of operation are you running here? This is SO unprofessional." She snarled.

Shikamaru attempted to explain when another man entered the room, Shikamaru's superior. He was tan, with dark hair and a beard.

"Good morning Sakura-san, how are you?" He asked smoothly. "It's good to-"

He didn't have time to finish his sentence, however, as the pinkette was already stomping away. Shikamaru silently prayed that she'd take her temper out on something other than his office. Kakashi Hatake then stepped forward, trailed by his client.

"If you're trying to manipulate us, we can throw this whole deal out." He said coolly, turning away and gesturing for Naruto to follow.

"What is going on here?" The man asked in agitation. "Who is she?"

Shikamaru and his boss turned to look at the couch, where Ino sat with her head in her hands, still sobbing.

"A friend. No, she's more of an acquaintance, really." Shikamaru amended, sounding casual and praying his boss had had his coffee already.

"Nara. You're the one who begged me to put you on the case, and this is what I get for it?" He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I walk in here and find everybody upset, and some girl's crying like we're on Oprah!"

"I'll take care of it." Shikamaru insisted. "Asuma-san, it's going to fine."

Shikamaru grabbed Ino's forearm and pulled her off the coach, leading her out the door.

"What is wrong with you?" He asked in wonder.

"_Me_?" Ino's eyes widened as she looked at Shikamaru reproachfully.

"Yes, _you_. What were you doing? These people are in real pain." He scolded, now pulling her down a hallway.

"Well of course they're in pain!" Ino looked at Shikamaru tearfully. "They're going to be separated _forever_!"

Shikamaru stopped and shook his head, unsure why Ino couldn't grasp what was going on here.

"One day they're married, the next they're not… what sort of horrible place is this?" Ino had stopped and was shaking her head as well.

"It's reality." Shikamaru pushed her in the elevator.

"Well, I think I prefer Andalasia." Ino sniffed.

"I think I'd prefer that too. Now get in, please." Ino allowed herself to be guided into the elevator, Shikamaru on her heels.

Outside the office building, in a nearby square, Chouji the chipmunk was perched on a statue's head, while Sasuke clambered up it's side. Both were looking around the area hopefully. Kabuto approached and began appealing to the prince.

"I wonder if we'd cover more ground separately, sire?" He suggested. "You by yourself and me with the, ah, _rat_."

"Good plan." Sasuke agreed, eager to find his bride and return home. "Where do you think I should look?"

Chouji began hopping up and down, squeaking eagerly. Across the road was Ino, being pulled along by a tall, rushed-looking man with dark hair tied into a spiky ponytail. Kabuto froze, also spotting the blonde girl. He leapt into action quickly, seizing the chipmunk and stuffing him in his jacket, lest Sasuke notice his bride.

"Look sire!" Kabuto pointed to a girl around Ino's height, with long blonde hair. She had her back to them and was seated in what seemed to be an open carriage, pulled by a bike. "Over there!"

Sasuke started and leaped off the statue.

"INO!" He yelled, racing off as Kabuto called out encouragement.

Kabuto smirked, then slunk into the shadows, watching and listening as Ino and her companion walked by. The man was scowling and speaking in a firm tone as he pulled Ino by the hand.

"Look. I've tried to be nice." He began.

"You've been very nice to me." Ino agreed, unsure of where he was going with this.

"And I'm being severely punished for it." He sighed, running his free hand through his long dark hair, which had come out of his ponytail. "Okay, look. Ino? I can't help you anymore. Okay? Just… here. Here's some money, I want you to take it, call your prince. Have him come pick you up. Bring his horse, his dragon, his enchanted pumpkin, whatever. I don't care. Because honestly I can't… I can't handle it."

He looked down at Ino, who seemed to realize what he was saying.

"Shikamaru-kun? I'm so sorry. You were a kind friend to me when I had none." She said quietly. "And I would never want to make you unhappy or cause you any trouble, so…"

She took a deep breath, then forced herself to look into Shikamaru's hazel eyes. He looked back, at a loss for words. She should've been yelling at him, or crying again. He was ditching her in the middle of the park they'd walked into. But she was sincere and honest when she spoke.

"…I'll go. I wish you _every _happiness." She said softly, giving him a smile that he returned sadly.

Ino looked at him for a long moment, smiling, then turned and began walking away. Her long blonde hair that fell to her knees danced with every step, and her dress billowed out behind her. Shikamaru stared at her retreating figure, half-expecting her to come back. Once he was sure that she wasn't coming back, he turned and started walking around. He stopped again and turned towards the park, unable to help himself when he heard Ino spoke.

"You have lovely friends."

"Would you like to feed the birds? It's just a dollar for bag."

"Sure."

Ino gave an old woman on a park bench money in exchange for a small bag of bird seed that she soon emptied as she fed the surrounding pigeons.

"By any chance, have you seen my prince?" Ino asked hopefully, giving the woman the remainder of the money.

Shikamaru groaned and hurried towards them.

"He was here." The woman bobbed her head.

"Do you really think so?" Ino was beside herself.

"Ooohhh yes." The woman said seriously, counting the money.

"Ino? What are you doing?" Shikamaru asked, trying to sound friendly.

Ino looked up in surprise. Shikamaru had stuffed his hands in his pockets, and his hair was blowing slightly in the breeze. He looked stiff and awkward standing there, still in his suit from work.

"Shika-kun!" Ino cried, leaping up. "This is Chiyo. She saw Sasuke."

Shikamaru nodded, surprised. She was truly happy to see him. But… 'Shika'-kun? He mentally shrugged. At least it made sense. He also tried to push back another thought that had popped into his head. Temari never gave him a nickname, or even added a '-kun' to his name. And she never greeted him so warmly and affectionately… even if he did, or if he called her Temari-_chan_. Shaking his head he returned his attention to Ino and Chiyo.

"He was on the bus this morning-"

"Uh-huh." Shikamaru nodded, trying not to be sarcastic.

"He tried to kill me!" Granny Chiyo nodded.

"Uh-huh, that's great, wonderful." He replied, putting a hand on the squealing Ino's back and guiding her away. "Thank you, thank you."

Once they were a few steps away he spoke again.

"What are you thinking?" He asked Ino, looking exasperated. "You can't just give people money like that."

"But… you gave me money." Ino countered.

"That's not the point."

"She was very helpful." Ino turned to wave cheerily at the granny.

"So… what's the deal with this prince of yours?" Shikamaru asked as they walked. "How long have you two been together?"

"Oh… about a day." Ino replied dreamily.

"You mean, it feels like a day because you're so in love." Shikamaru corrected.

"No, it's been a day." Ino said, giving Shikamaru an odd look.

"Are you kidding me? A day?" He raised his eyebrows. "One day?"

"Yes." Ino smiled. "And tomorrow it'll be two days…"

Ino clasped her hands together, looking dreamy again.

"You're joking."

"No I'm not."

"Yeah you are." Shikamaru said decisively.

"But I'm not." Ino insisted.

"You're going to marry someone that you've only known for a day?" Shikamaru asked incredulously. "Because you fell in love with him?"

They were now standing still on the path. Ino frowned.

"Yes." She said defiantly, before becoming giddy and giggling, "Yes!"

She grabbed the now laughing Shikamaru's hand and pulled him along. They came upon a pond where several street performers were stationed along they path. They stopped holding hands and took in the scenery for a moment before Shikamaru continued speaking.

"I don't get it." He looked at Ino. "How can you talk about loving some guy you don't even know?"

"Well, I know what's in his heart."

"Oh. Okay. Great." They paused at a vendor's stand, where Shikamaru purchased a hot dog that he handed to Ino.

"Mmmm. This was _so _yummy!" She exclaimed, cheeks puffing out. "I didn't know that food could taste like this.

She had finished the hot dog quickly, still clutching the foil it had been wrapped in.

"You all done?" Shikamaru asked in surprise, holding a hand out for the wrapper.

Ino gave it to him and he tossed it in a trash can. They continued their walk around the pond.

"What about you?" Ino asked. "How long have you known your Temari?"

"At least five years." Shikamaru said after a moment of thought.

"And you haven't proposed?" Ino asked in shock.

"Well, no."

"No wonder she's angry." Ino shook her head knowingly.

"Hello, nice lady!" A man popped up in front of them, holding a caramel apple on a stick and waving it at Ino. "You want a nice, juicy, sweet, caramel apple maybe…?"

Shikamaru stepped closer to Ino, narrowing his eyes. She looked surprised, then flattered when the leering vendor informed them that there was no charge.

"It's free?" Shikamaru asked suspiciously.

"Of course!" The man said airily, handing the treat to Ino. "Today is free caramel apple day! Tomorrow is free beef… jerky…" He trailed off as a squeaking sound began issuing from his pocket.

"Thank you very much, sir." Ino said brightly, continuing to walk with Shikamaru.

"You're welcome, miss!" He called, catching the chipmunk that had flown out of his pocket as she turned her back on him.

The man shoved the rodent into his popcorn machine, locking it. He then began to follow Ino and Shikamaru silently from a distance.

"You know, most normal people get to know each other before they get married." Shikamaru was telling her. "They date."

"Date?" Ino raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, y'know, _date_." He said, rolling his eyes. "You go some place special, like a restaurant, or movie, or museum, and you just… y'know, hang out. Talk."

"What do you talk about?" Ino wondered.

"About each other. Yourself. Your interests, likes, dislikes." Shikamaru laughed at Ino's innocence. "You just… talk."

Ino began laughing as well, twirling the apple between her fingers.

"You have such strange ideas about love, Shika-kun." She giggled.

"Maybe we should do what you would do. You meet, have lunch, and get married." He snorted, looking at Ino in amusement.

"You forgot about 'happily ever after'!" Ino reminded him.

"Oh forget about 'happily ever after'." Shikamaru said, waving a hand. "It doesn't exist."

"Of COURSE it does!" Ino cried, throwing her arms in the air and flinging her apple to the far regions of the park.

Kabuto watched furiously as it landed on a biker's helmet, and began disintegrating it.

"I hate to disagree with you, but most marriages are considered a success if they don't manage to end, period." He explained. "Forget about happiness."

"What about you and Temari?" Ino pointed out. "You know that you'll live happily ever after, right?"

"Well, I don't know if I'll make it through today!" Shikamaru sighed in exasperation. "Let alone a lifetime. That's what I'm trying to tell you, Ino. It's complicated."

Ino frowned, looking distraught and downcast.

"But… it doesn't have to be." She protested. "Not if she knows."

"Knows what?"

"That you really love her."

"Of course she does. We just don't talk about it every minute of the day. But she knows." Shikamaru said defensively, sounding like he was trying to convince himself as much as Ino.

"How?"

"What do you mean, 'how'?"

"_How does she knoooow you loooove her."_ Ino began to sing.

Shikamaru laughed nervously and shook his head as Ino continued.

"_How does she knoooow she's yoooooouuurs."_

"People are looking. Don't sing. It's okay, just walk." He steered her up the path. "Can we walk? Okay?"

The passed a few men with instruments, who took up Ino's abandoned tune.

"_How does she know that you love her?_" One sang with a reggae tune, gesturing towards Shikamaru.

"He knows this song too?" Shikamaru asked in disbelief as Ino skipped towards him and sang with the same tune.

_"How do you show her you love her?"_

The other men began to play their instruments as Ino and the man started singing a duet.

"_How does she know that you really, really, truly love her?  
How does she know that you love her?  
How do you show her you love her?  
How does she know that you really, really, truly love her?"_

"I've never heard this song. Great work." Shikamaru said distractedly, throwing some money in a tip jar near the men before grabbing Ino and pulling her down the path. "Let's go. Okay, Ino?"

Ino skipped alongside Shikamaru, who was heading towards another part of the park. The men tagged along, playing their instruments and joining in as Ino continued to sing her song.

"_It's not enough to take the one you love for granted  
You must remind her, or she'll be inclined to say...  
"How do I know he loves me?"  
(How does she know that you love her?  
How do you show her you love her?)  
"How do I know he's mine?"  
(How does she know that you really, really, truely love her?)"_

Ino twirled through a meadow, then sat on a bench by some elderly men, across from a bench of elderly women. She continued to sing while they watched her in wonder.

"_Well does he leave a little note to tell you you are on his mind?  
Send you yellow flowers when the sky is grey? Heyy!  
He'll find a new way to show you, a little bit everyday  
That's how you know, that's how you know!  
He's your love..."_

With Ino's encouragement, the men and women paired up and began dancing, led by Ino. Shikamaru stood with his arms crossed, observing the scene and smiling in a tired sort of way.

"See?" Ino giggled.

"Yeah, I've seen quite enough." Shikamaru attempted to pull her along when she stopped to stare at a sign advertising a costume party.

"A ball!?" She gasped. "That would be fun!"

"That would _not _be fun." Shikamaru grumbled as Ino's new friend began to sing.

"_You've got to show her you need her  
Don't treat her like a mind reader  
Each day do something to need her  
To believe you love her"_

After rowing across the lake in a 'borrowed' rowboat, Shikamaru and Ino encountered a group of newlyweds walking in a line down a path. Ino danced around them as she sang, weaving in and out of the line while pulling a scowling Shikamaru by the hand.

"_Everybody wants to live happily ever after  
Everybody wants to know their true love is true...  
How do you know he loves you?  
(How does she know that you love her?  
How do you show her you need her?)  
How do you know he's yours?  
(How does she know that you really, really, truly-)"_

Ino danced off to another part of the park with Shikamaru, now followed by the men, the elderly couples, and the newlyweds. She began twirling around Shikamaru, singing all the while.

"_Well does he take you out dancin' just so he can hold you close?" _Ino trilled.

"I don't dance." Shikamaru snapped.

"_Dedicate a song with words in just for you? Ohhh!" _Ino showered Shikamaru with flower petals before skipping away.

"And I really don't sing!" He called, brushing away the petals.

Nobody heard him, however, since Ino's ever-growing crowd had begun to sing with her:

"_He'll find his own way to tell you  
With the little things he'll do  
That's how you know  
That's how you know!_

_He's your love  
He's your love..."_

Ino's clear voice rang out above everybody else's, and was heard on the other side of the park by a certain raven-haired prince.

"INO!" He shouted, jumping into the path of several bicyclists.

Inspired, Sasuke began to sing his and Ino's duet:

"I've been dreaming- AAARGH!"

The cyclists, ran into Sasuke, knocking him to the ground. A pileup was caused, Sasuke the cause.

Meanwhile, Ino had called a pair of doves to deliver a heart-shaped wreath of flowers to Temari from Shikamaru.

"Take these flowers to Temari-san, please." Ino instructed.

"Are you crazy? They're birds. They don't know where she lives." Shikamaru protested as the birds took flight with the flowers.

Ino led Shikamaru into her crowd of friends, which now consisted of hundreds of various people. They all joined in as Ino began to sing again:

"_That's how you know  
(la la la la la la la la)  
He loves you  
(la la la la la la la la)  
That's how you know  
(la la la la la la la la)  
It's true  
(la la la la la)"_

Shikamaru then found himself, Ino, and a picnic basket sitting on top of a blanket in the grass as Ino continued:

"_Because he'll wear your favorite color  
Just so he can match your eyes  
Rent a private picnic  
By the fires glow-oohh!"_

A parade of people danced across a bridge over the pond, Ino in the lead. They all sang, with the exception of Shikamaru.

"_His heart will be yours forever  
Something everyday will show  
That's how you know  
(That's how you know)  
That's how you know  
(That's how you know)  
That's how you know  
(That's how you know)  
That's how you know  
(That's how you know)  
That's how you know  
(That's how you know)  
That's how you know  
(That's how you know)  
That's how you know!"_

Shikamaru found himself bobbing his head to the beat and quickly stopped. They had reached a fountain, and Ino was lifted in the air. She and her first friend finished singing:

"_He's your love..._

_That's how she knows that you love her  
That's how you show her you love her_

_That's how you know...  
That's how you know...  
He's your love..."_

Ino was lowered next to Shikamaru, who looked completely bemused. Ino beamed as the crowded cheered, and she began thanking them profusely.

A relieved Shikamaru was spared from the festivities as his cell phone rang.

"Temari?" He asked in surprise as he answered, recognizing the number.

"Oh Shikamaru! Thanks so much for the flowers!"

"Well, you're welcome. I'm glad you liked them." Shikamaru said, catching Ino's eye.

"Is this a bad time?" Temari asked, hearing the noise in the background.

"Yeah. You wouldn't believe where I am right now." Shikamaru grinned as Ino smiled brightly.

_'All's well that ends well, I suppose. I knew Temari-san would like the flowers from Shika-kun!'_ Ino thought happily, listening as Shikamaru and Temari continued to chat. _'I wonder how she'll like the other gift...?'_

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**That was a lot longer than I'd meant it to be... oh well. ^^; Anyways... please keep reading, and take a few minutes to review! It would really mean a lot if you did. I'll give you a cookie~! :)**


	9. That's Amore

**Before we begin, I'd like to thank ShayShay202 for adding this story to her favorites and subscribing. I was beginning to think that nobody was reading this… not that it would've stopped me from updating. Writing's a creative outlet, and you should always finish a story, even if it's just for yourself. =)**

**Now, without further ado, Chapter 9!**

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"Sire!" Kabuto called, running towards the bike pileup where Sasuke lay. "Oh dear, oh dear. You've fallen on your royal-"

"I know, I know." Sasuke said crossly, standing up and rubbing his head.

Kabuto proceeded to brush the dirt off of the prince, but Sasuke merely pushed him away and limped off. Kabuto was about to follow when he saw, with shock, a man crying out in pain and flinging off his helmet.

The man had a round bald spot on his head, and there was a sizzling hole of about the same size on his helmet. On closer inspection Kabuto found that it was caused by a very familiar caramel apple…

~Temari's Work~

While Ino happily examined a shimmery bolt of fabric (Temari worked at a fashion and modeling agency), Temari and Shikamaru were admiring the bouquet he'd sent, complete with doves perched in the center.

Temari beamed, then kissed her fiancé enthusiastically. He looked surprised but pleased. She pulled away and looked at him adoringly.

"I love it so much." She said, gazing at the heart-shaped wreath.

"Really?" Shikamaru looked mildly impressed.

"Yeah. Usually you just send those e-cards with the digital flowers. But these are exquisite!" Temari exclaimed. "Where do you find live doves in New York City?"

"Yeah, it's a long story." Shikamaru laughed nervously, looking over his shoulder at Ino while Temari giggled girlishly and waved a pair of tickets at him.

"And these?" She looked at Shikamaru in amazement. "We're going to a ball?"

"You don't have to if you don't want to." He said quickly, praying she'd admit that she really didn't want to.

"Are you kidding me?" Temari looked ecstatic. "It's so romantic! So spontaneous!"

She playfully smacked Shikamaru with the tickets while they laughed again, Shikamaru still in disbelief.

"I can't wait." Temari giggled.

"Well. Good. And…" Shikamaru looked at Ino, suddenly serious. "This whole thing with Ino… I'm just trying to help her. Honestly. Nothing's-"

"You know what?" Temari cut him off, also looking serious. "If you say nothing happened, then nothing happened. I trust you."

"So tomorrow night, then?" Shikamaru asked, looking relieved.

"This is so unlike you!" Temari exclaimed, looking delighted as she gave him another hug.

~Back With His Royal Highness (and Kabuto)~

The two men walked past a trainyard and made their way towards a dingy looking motel. The side over it read, "The Grand Duke Hotel", which certainly _sounded _promising. Kabuto led Sasuke over to it, and held the door open for him.

Once they were settled in a room, Sasuke lounged on the bed while Kabuto tugged his Royal Boots off with difficulty. Sasuke landed on a rectangular, flat box, which turned on a strange cube-shaped mirror across from the bed. Two figures engaged in a sword fight danced across it while Sasuke examined the flat box. He pressed a button, and the busdriver from before appeared next to a woman speaking into a strange device.

"-in the middle of Time Square with that busdriver, Mrs. Tenten Hyuga, who was ambushed earlier today-"

"It appears this strange box controls the magic mirror!" Sasuke said in wonder, examining the box.

"-all freaky, then this chipmunk-"

Sasuke pressed another button to show a man sitting in a chair, speaking to the woman that sat on its arm.

"I've always been in love with you." He was saying.

"Don't you have _any _self-respect?" The woman sneered, getting up and strutting about the room.

Kabuto paused, looking at the 'mirror' with interest.

"I don't need self-respect." The man replied, putting his arms around the woman. "I just need your lips against mine."

Sasuke flipped the channel, looking bored.

"Wait, sire! Go back, go back. Please!" Kabuto said quickly, as Sasuke complied with confusion etched on his handsome face.

"How could a _love_ a man who doesn't even _like _himself?" The woman asked mockingly.

Kabuto's eyes widened as the woman turned her back on the man, who stared at her intently. There was something about that couple…

"Get _away _from me, Jerry." She snapped. "You disgust me."

"I can't help my feelings…" The man started.

As he spoke, Chouji gnawed his way out of the popcorn box Kabuto had shut him in. Quietly, he landed on Sasuke's knee, gesturing for him to remain quiet. Sasuke nodded, his brow furrowing as the chipmunk began to mime.

Chouji pointed meaningfully at Kabuto, then imitated him with his arms in the air, stomping like a monster, then jumping for emphasis.

"Kabuto likes the way I leap?" Sasuke hissed.

Chouji shook his head in exasperation, then began imitating Ino. He batted his eyes and twirled his tail, squeaking out the tune of Ino and Sasuke's duet. He then began to choke, eyes bulging, and slumped over.

"I'm handsome even when I sleep!" Sasuke cried, forgetting to be quiet in his triumph.

The chipmunk leapt up and began squeaking and chattering furiously, waving his paws at Sasuke. Kabuto tore away from the drama unfolding in front of him and seized Chouji by the tail.

"Sad little chipmunk. Driven mad by exhaustion." He sighed while Sasuke nodded sympathetically. "Maybe you'd like to snuggle in a nice nook for the night?"

Using the clips on a coat hanger, Kabuto hung Chouji by his paws in the closet while he whimpered dejectedly. Kabuto then placed the 'do not disturb' sign intended for the door around Chouji's neck.

"Night night." Kabuto smirked, slamming the door shut. "Sleep tight."

He then hurried back to the prince, scooping up his coat.

"I think I need some air, sire." He said, heading for the door.

Before he opened it, he paused and regarded the raven haired man thoughtfully.

"Sire? Do you… like yourself?" He asked, knowing he sounded stupid.

"Of course." Sasuke raised an eyebrow, looking haughty. "What's not to like?"

Kabuto nodded, then left quickly. Chouji squeaked and resumed his struggle. The sign was soon off his neck, but his paws were still trapped. Chouji began swinging the coat hanger back and forth, kicking his tiny legs. Finally, he and the hanger fell down. Using the hanger, he pushed the closet open, and snuck past Sasuke, who was still mesmerized by the 'magic mirror'.

Chouji scurried up to the window, and spotted Kabuto hurrying across the street. He squeaked, then used the hanger's hook to pull the window open. Leaping onto the ledge, he soon spotted a way across the street. Using a cable and the hanger's hook, he glided easily over the busy street, knocking the hanger off and landing on a street lamp.

He then looked around frantically before scurrying down the lamp post. The moon had risen and night was falling; there was no time to waste.

~Meanwhile, on the Other Side of Town, in the Italian Restaurant 'Bella Notte'…~

"Yeah, here, watch this." Shikamaru said to Ino, who watched him eagerly.

He held up a salt shaker for Ino to see, taking the top off.

"Watch very carefully. I'm going to put it in this hand like that," He did so, Ino nodding and smiling brightly. "Oh!"

He shut his hand and reached the other hand out towards Ino's ear, pulling the metal top out from behind it.

"Oh! Do it again!" She cried in delight, clapping her hands. "Show me! That's wonderful, show me again!"

"Alright, last time." Shikamaru grinned lazily, clearly enjoying her reaction.

He performed the trick again, laughing loudly as Ino gasped and shook her head. She felt her ear, but couldn't see how the trick worked. Her sky-blue eyes widened as she looked at Shikamaru with obvious admiration.

"You're a wizard!" She giggled as Shikamaru continued laughing while he replaced the top.

Once they'd stopped laughing, Shikamaru stole a look at Ino. She was as beautiful as ever, but looked uncharacteristically serious.

"What?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"This is a very nice place." Ino began, gesturing around them.

"Yeah…" Shikamaru agreed, not seeing where she was going with this.

"And we're eating dinner." She said, pointing at the pizza.

"Yeah." Shikamaru nodded.

"This is a date!" Ino concluded happily as Shikamaru smiled just as happily, caught up in the moment.

"Yeah! No, no." He said hastily, shaking his head as he looked across the table. "No no no no. We're just, um, friends. Besides, people don't usually bring their children on dates."

He looked pointedly across the table while Ino followed his gaze. Keiko was seated with a woman that was showing her how to fold napkins. Shikamaru knew the owners of the restaurant personally, and was friends with many of the staff. They all adored Keiko, and had kept her entertained in the past when Shikamaru had to bring her with when he and Temari came.

"Oh. That's too bad." Ino said, still smiling. "Keiko's such a good girl. Very kind and very sweet."

"Yeah. She's great." Shikamaru smiled softly, his eyes proud as he gazed at his daughter.

He then looked at Ino, who looked slightly sad. For the second time that night he was utterly confused.

"What?"

"Does she miss her terribly?" Ino asked, looking at Shikamaru.

"Miss who?"

"Her mother." Ino said softly.

"Um… well, we…" He looked awkward, shifting in his seat and not meeting Ino's piercing gaze.

"What?" She persisted.

"We don't talk about it." He said finally, looking back at Ino.

"Oh." Ino said in a small voice. "I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to pry."

"No, it's okay." Shikamaru said. "It's just, um… _I _don't talk about it. To Keiko, or to anybody."

"Because it was very sad?" Ino leaned in slightly, blonde hair falling into her eyes.

"Not at first." Shikamaru admitted.

"You were in love?" Ino smiled understandingly.

"Yeah…" Shikamaru returned the contagious smile. "That was the problem."

"How could that be the problem?" Ino looked surprised.

"Because love… the lovey dovey version you talk about?" Shikamaru looked at Ino, willing her to understand. "It's a fantasy. And one day, you have to wake up. You're in the real world."

"Well what made you wake up?" Ino asked, trying to understand.

"Well… she left." He smiled sadly.

"I'm so sorry for you both." She whispered.

"It's okay. I'm a big boy and I can handle it." Shikamaru said, turning to look at Keiko. "It's her I'm worried about."

Keiko looked up at her father and Ino, a curious smile on her face.

"She's shy, and she doesn't have many friends." Her father said quietly. "I want her to be strong, you know? To be able to face the world for what it is. That's why I don't encourage fairy tales. I don't want to set her up with that 'dreams come true' nonsense."

Shikamaru leaned on the table, looking at Ino's offended expression.

"But dreams _do _come true." She replied. "And maybe something wonderful _will _happen."

Shikamaru leaned back in his chair, smiling and shaking his head. As exasperating as Ino's ideas could be, they were also oddly endearing to him now.

"Yeah, well. I forgot who I was talking to." A faint smirk tugged at his lips.

"Well I hope you don't forget." Ino said with a sincere smile, not picking up on the fact that Shikamaru was teasing her. "I like talking to you."

A bespectacled and oddly familiar waiter approached, carrying a glass of apple-red liquid to their table.

"For the nice lady." He proclaimed, setting in down in front of her.

Shikamaru's looked at him, narrowing his eyes.

"From a secret admirer." The man said in a stage whisper.

"Secret admirer, huh?" Shikamaru looked around. "How come people keep giving you free stuff?"

Ino picked up the glass, regarding it with interest.

"What is it?"

"Apple martini mix!" The man said brightly.

"Oh, apple!" Ino squealed. "It looks yummy!"

"Yeah, be careful, it's poisonous." Shikamaru said seriously, hazel eyes bright with mischief.

Kabuto gave Shikamaru a dirty look while Ino narrowed her eyes.

"You're joking." She giggled.

"Yeah." He laughed, impressed that Ino had picked up on it that time.

The waiter and Ino joined in, and Shikamaru became serious again.

"Seriously though, don't drink all of that." He warned, imagining having to handle a drunk Ino.

"I'll just have one sip." Ino promised, picking up the glass.

"One sip is all it takes." The waiter said, his eyes locking on Ino

She nodded and lifted the martini to her lips and was about to sip from it when a chipmunk tackled it, knocking it to the floor. Ino shrieked in surprise, while Shikamaru leaped to his feet and the waiter swore angrily.

"There's a rodent on the table!" Shikamaru barked. "Could we get some help here?"  
"Oh leave him alone!" Ino cried.

Keiko ran over to the thick of the action, hazel eyes wide.

"Pip you're here!" Ino lifted Chouji to her cheek, and he kissed her affectionately while she giggled in response.

The restaurant was in an uproar, with frightened diners shrieking and running for cover. One elderly woman grabbed her companion's shoulder and yelped,

"It's chewing off her face!"

"A chipmunk!" Keiko squealed, running over to Ino.

Shikamaru picked her up, looking alarmed.

"That thing's loaded with disease!" He informed his daughter while the rodent shook his paw and squeaked angrily.

Chouji then turned to Ino and imitated Sasuke while she squealed with excitement.

"Sasuke-kun's here!"

With a yell the silver-haired waiter slammed a broom onto the table, narrowly missing the chipmunk. Chouji jumped on Ino's head as Kabuto's eyes glinted maliciously. If he broke the girl's neck, all the better for him and the queen. With a cry of triumph he swung the broom at a terrified Ino.

"DUCK!" Shikamaru bellowed.

Ino complied but the broom still caught the back of her head, knocking her to the ground. Still holding Keiko in one arm, Shikamaru grabbed Ino's arm and hauled her to her feet.

"Are you alright? Let me see your face." Shikamaru demanded, turning Ino towards him. "Did he scratch you?"

"No!" Ino said, looking scandalized. "He wouldn't scratch me!"

She spun around, looking frantic.

"Where's Chouji?" She cried.

"What?" Shikamaru looked at her, clearly thinking she'd lost it.

"Where's Chouji?" She repeated on the verge of tears.

"The pizza's _breathing!"_ Keiko said, pointing at a quivering pizza in wonder.

"Oh! Chouji-kun!" Ino started towards the pizza in relief.

The waiter beat her to it, however, and began walking towards the pizza oven. With an evil laugh he flung the pizza like a Frisbee while the chipmunk squealed shrilly in protest. The pizza landed in the oven, causing flames to flare out momentarily.

"Oh on." Ino whimpered, not having seen her friend fly off the pizza and into a glass bottle.

She whimpered, still staring at the fire while she clutched at Shikamaru.

"You okay?" He looked at Ino with concern.

"Oh daddy." Keiko buried her face into her father's shoulder.

Shikamaru put an arm around Ino's waist while she leaned into him, her eyes sparkling with tears. The diners began applauding as the waiter beamed and bowed, waving at them all. Chouji whimpered and sunk lower into the bottle.

~At the Grand Duke Hotel, with a Very Confused Prince~

"Tell me, Magic Mirror, what is this awful place?" Sasuke asked, still lounging on the bed and glued to the TV. "Why is everything so difficult here? And will I ever find my heart's duet?"

"The search of the pizza oven did not turn up any rodent remains." A police officer declared importantly. "That animal's still out there somewhere."

"Also joining us is the poor woman who was attacked by that insane animal." A woman reported, gesturing towards the smiling blonde beside her.

"Ino!" Sasuke sat up.

"Tell us how you feel knowing this dangerous animal is most likely still alive."

"Wonderful!" Ino exclaimed. "Chouji-kun is my very best friend!"

A tall man with long dark hair carrying a small girl approached, grabbing Ino's hand.

"Good night." He told the other woman, pulling Ino with him. "C'mon, Ino, let's go home now."

"Wait, ma'am! I have just one more question!" The woman called after them.

"What villainy is this?" Sasuke demanded, leaping up and drawing his sword.

"Is this unprovoked attack part of some new trend?" The woman asked. "Is rodent rage on the rise?"

"Please! Tell me where she is!" Sasuke pleaded, dropping to his knees.

"Reporting from 116th Broadway-"

"116th Broadway! Thank you mirror." Sasuke planted a kiss on the screen, then raced out of the room in search of his bride.

~Home With the Naras (and Ino)~

"We sure shared a lot of excitement tonight, huh?" Ino was sitting on Keiko's bed, where Keiko sat in her pajamas under the covers. "Were you scared?"

"A little bit." Keiko confessed. "But do you think Chouji will be okay?"

"Oh, well, I wouldn't worry about Chouji." Ino said soothingly. "He's very brave. I remember this one time…"

Shikamaru leaned in the doorway, smiling at the scene before him.

"…When that poor wolf was being chased around his grandmother's house by Little Red Riding hood, and she had an axe! Oh, if Chouji hadn't been walking by, I don't know what would have happened."

"I don't really remember that version." Keiko said uncertainly.

"Well that's because Red tells it a little differently." Ino explained.

"Good night Ino-chan, and thanks for the nice story." Keiko said, smiling.

"Good night Keiko-chan."

Ino gave Keiko a kiss on the forehead, and began tucking her in. Shikamaru watched them, not fully understanding the emotions he was getting from watching the scene. He silently walked off to his bedroom, wondering…


End file.
